Voyagers!

[repeated line]

Phineas Bogg:
Bat's breath!

[opening narration]

Phineas Bogg:
We travel through time to help history along, give it a push where it's needed. When the Omni's red, it means history's wrong. Our job's to get everything back on track.

Jeffrey Jones:
What an entrance! Right in the middle of a Salem Witch Hunt. Can't you control that thing?

Phineas Bogg:
[quietly] Doesn't come with a steering wheel.

Jeffrey Jones:
What's the date?

Phineas Bogg:
[opens up the Omni] November 13th, 1692. [to Abiah] Friday?

Abiah Folger:
It is.

Phineas Bogg:
Figures.

Jeffrey Jones:
Can Voyagers die Bogg? I mean really.

Phineas Bogg:
We're regular flesh and blood kid. Only thing that makes us special is that Omni.

Jeffrey Jones:
[talking about the now stolen Omni] Great kisser. You're really having a tough time hanging on to that thing, aren't you?

Phineas Bogg:
Will you knock it off? How was I supposed to know she was a pickpocket.

Phineas Bogg:
Just know, you're the best thing that ever happened to me, kid. Out of all the people in time, the best.

[Bogg is about to throw away a piece of paper a passerby dropped]

Jeffrey Jones:
What is it?

Phineas Bogg:
Just a poem. "Oh, say, can you see by the dawn's early light, what so proudly we hailed at..."

Jeffrey Jones:
At the twilight's last gleaming.

Phineas Bogg:
How'd you know?

[Jeffrey grabs the poem and runs toward the man who dropped it:
Francis Scott Key]

Jeffrey Jones:
Mr. Key! Mr. Key!

Francis Scott Key:
Good morning, my enthusiastic young man.

Jeffrey Jones:
Good morning, sir. You dropped this.

Francis Scott Key:
Ah. I wrote this when the British were rowing me ashore this morning. It was a proud sight, son. Those stars and stripes still flying over McHenry. I wrote this to help me remember.

Jeffrey Jones:
To help us all remember.

Francis Scott Key:
Pardon me.

Jeffrey Jones:
Have a nice day, sir.

[after landing in a lake]

Jeffrey Jones:
I don't care what you say. The Omni needs a 60 zillion mile check-up.

Phineas Bogg:
Quit complaining. We almost missed the lake. Didn't we?

Jeffrey Jones:
Almost? Funny, I don't feel almost wet. I feel soaked!

Jeffrey Jones:
[reads the back of a boxer's shirt] Brown Bomber. You know who that is?

Phineas Bogg:
Are you kidding? That's Joe Louis, Heavyweight champ. Maybe the best there ever was.

Jeffrey Jones:
Hey! I thought you said you were at the bottom of your class.

Phineas Bogg:
And Light Heavyweight champ of my boxing team. This is my kind of history.

Jeffrey Jones:
[just arrived on a 747] Hey, look, right in mid-air. We never did this before.

Phineas Bogg:
What'd you go and Omni us out for? [refers to his boxing opponent] I was psyching him out.

Jeffrey Jones:
Look, I don't like the sight of blood. Okay? Especially yours.

Phineas Bogg:
[Phineas is sparring with Joe Louis and knocks him down with one punch] I couldn't do that again if my life depended on it!

Jeffrey Jones:
Stay tuned. It may.

Phineas Bogg:
Bat's breath [Jeffrey laughs] . You made me spill my guava whip. What are you laughing about? And what's the big idea Omniing us out of Hawaii? I wasn't read to leave.

Jeffrey Jones:
Our vacation was over.

Phineas Bogg:
In case you didn't notice, I was having a very intimate conversation with a girl in a grass skirt.

Jeffrey Jones:
I noticed.

Phineas Bogg:
Yeah, well you also notice how beautiful she was? How sweet? How innocent?

Jeffrey Jones:
How married?

Phineas Bogg:
Married?

Jeffrey Jones:
Married, to the tribal chieftain. She was wife number eighteen.

Phineas Bogg:
Eighteen? That doesn't seem fair. A guy with eighteen wives.

Jeffrey Jones:
He also had a couple hundred warriors who were giving you the evil eye.

Phineas Bogg:
We gotta stop those marriages.

Jeffrey Jones:
No, just one of them. Alexandra is supposed to marry Tsar Nicholas.

Phineas Bogg:
Well then it's Princess Victoria and her Duke who won't be hearing wedding bells.

Jeffrey Jones:
These landings start to get to you after a while.

Phineas Bogg:
Hard landings are an occupational hazard. We had a saying at Voyager school: "It's not where you land but how you land that counts."

Phineas Bogg:
[about the Russian Duke] Well one thing's for sure, the Princess doesn't want to marry him.

Jeffrey Jones:
She may not have to. The Aide said the betrothal might not come off unless the Duke wins the match.

Phineas Bogg:
That's not much to hang our hats on.

Jeffrey Jones:
Right. Buffalo Bill did ask Annie to throw it.

Phineas Bogg:
Yeah?

Jeffrey Jones:
Yeah. Something about the Duke being humiliated in front of the Queen if Annie wins.

Phineas Bogg:
What's so humiliating about losing to Annie? Everybody knows what a good shot she is.

Jeffrey Jones:
In 1887, women weren't supposed to beat men at anything.

Phineas Bogg:
So Annie beats the Duke and the Queen gives back the Princess's hand.

Annie Oakley:
...when you're a woman livin' in a man's world, you learn real fast that fair's got nothin' to do with it. You learn you gotta be twice as good as a man just to be considered equal. You learn never to make a mistake. Never to lose your temper. Never to let down your guard. Cause somehow that one moment of just bein' human is gonna be used against you as a woman.

Jeffrey Jones:
These landings start to get to you after a while.

Phineas Bogg:
Hard landings are an occupational hazard. We had a saying in Voyager School. "It's not where you land, but how you land that counts."

Jeffrey Jones:
Bogg, how many kids get the chance to learn how to shoot from Billy the Kid?

Phineas Bogg:
None, I hope.

Jeffrey Jones:
We're just going to be shooting tin cans.

Phineas Bogg:
No way.

Jeffrey Jones:
Please Bogg, it'll be good experience.

Phineas Bogg:
I said no. That's final.

Jeffrey Jones:
I'm sorry Bogg. I was stupid. I could've ruined everything. I could have gotten Roosevelt killed.

Phineas Bogg:
All I care about's you're okay. You learned a good lesson. So did I.

Jeffrey Jones:
What's that?

Phineas Bogg:
That even though you act grown-up, you're still a kid. [Opens up a now green lit Omni then grins and winks at Jeffrey] A pretty good kid.

[Jeffrey's teaching Phineas 1982 style pitching in 1919]

Phineas Bogg:
You're tougher to please than Abner Doubleday.

Jeffrey Jones:
You were there when Abner Doubleday invented baseball?

Phineas Bogg:
Yeah, well I knew him as Captain Doubleday at Fort Sumter. We tossed the ball around a bit between battles. He thought my pitch was pretty good.

Phineas Bogg:
Give me a break.

Phineas Bogg:
You know, without your coaching there's no way I could have thrown those pitches. Abner never would have believed a ball could move like that. You ought to be real proud of yourself.

Jeffrey Jones:
Yeah. [sees Babe Ruth] I didn't know he was going to take it so hard. He wasn't supposed to quit the game.

Phineas Bogg:
Yeah. I guess that's why the Omni's red, huh? We gotta do a little bit more.

Jeffrey Jones:
What?

Phineas Bogg:
You know how to hit those pitches you taught me?

Jeffrey Jones:
Sure. I was clean-up man on my little league team.

Phineas Bogg:
How about teaching the Babe?

Jeffrey Jones:
Bogg, I'm really sorry I doubted you. I should have known all along you could do it.

Phineas Bogg:
Jeffrey, you are as stubborn as a mule. You had to go out there and do it your own way no matter what anybody says or how it might turn out just because you thought it was right. [Grins proudly] I like that. You act like a real Voyager.

Jeffrey Jones:
Where are we, Bogg?

Phineas Bogg:
How does the south of Italy, 73 BC, grab you?

Jeffrey Jones:
That explains the gladiators?

Phineas Bogg:
You got any idea what's wrong? It's flashin' red.

Jeffrey Jones:
I don't know. I'm not too great with this part of history.

Jeffrey Jones:
Boy, grownups can really be jerks.

Young Sam Clemens:
Yeah, I don't have much use for them myself. You and your friend get in a fight?

Jeffrey Jones:
Yeah. We saw a runaway slave get captured this morning. I wanna go back and help her escape again, but my friend won't help me. He says it's a bad idea.

Young Sam Clemens:
Well, I have to go along with your friend there. Ain't right to help a slave escape.

Jeffrey Jones:
Well, you think slavery's right?

Young Sam Clemens:
Well, preachers don't say it's wrong. Teachers don't neither. Even the government says it's all right.

Jeffrey Jones:
Well, you wouldn't wanna be a slave, would you?

Young Sam Clemens:
Well, heck, no.

Jeffrey Jones:
Well, why do you think it's all right for anyone else to be one?

Young Sam Clemens:
I don't know. It's just... I've seen colored folks as slaves all my life. I just kind of got used to it. Well, it just seems natural.

Jeffrey Jones:
Well, it's not natural. It's wrong. One day, everyone's gonna see that. And it's gonna be illegal in every state.

Young Sam Clemens:
Well, I still don't know if slavery's right or wrong, but like my ma always says, I'm not one to put down a chance to get into trouble. So, if you're gonna break that slave out tonight, well, I'll help you.

Young Sam Clemens:
[Sam and Jeffrey have been caught helping Harriet Tubman escape, and the three are now in the custody of the Sheriff] My ma was right, I'm headin' for an early grave.

Harriet Tubman:
I'm sorry, boys, I really am. Never thought anybody but me would have to sacrifice for my freedom.

Jeffrey Jones:
If I had to, Harriet, I'd do it all over again.

Young Sam Clemens:
Yeah, me too. Well, heck, there's somethin' extravagant about bein' hung at the age of twelve.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt:
Mama's right. I best stick to my writing. I can't do Al Smith any good making a nominating speech from a wheelchair.

Phineas Bogg:
[gets some crutches] How about these?

Franklin Delano Roosevelt:
I have never used them.

Phineas Bogg:
Well you're gonna learn. So the delegates and the whole world can see you nominate Al Smith on your feet.

Phineas Bogg:
[the year is 1776] Pretty peaceful for a Revolution.

Jeffrey Jones:
Well it's gotta be here somewhere. All we gotta do is find it.

Phineas Bogg:
Yeah, well let me tell you something about Revolutions. If you stay around long enough in one place, they'll find you.

[Phineas has shut a guard dog in an office]

Jeffrey Jones:
He's going to be really mad when he finds out you tricked him.

Phineas Bogg:
What's he gonna do about it? Slip under the door? [Walks away] Come on.

Jeffrey Jones:
You know, I think you've got something against dogs.

Phineas Bogg:
I don't have anything against dogs. What I do have is teeth marks. Millenniums of teeth marks.

George Washington:
You know I hate boats. I'm just lucky I never joined the Navy. I get seasick.

Phineas Bogg:
Mind a bit of advice?

George Washington:
Good advice I never mind. Bad advice I tolerate.

Phineas Bogg:
Stand in the bow, uh, you get the wind in your face. Makes your stomach think it's on dry land.

George Washington:
I'll try it.

Phineas Bogg:
Okay.

Jeffrey Jones:
So which way is Nassau? We've gotta find Lafitte.

Phineas Bogg:
Down the beach, around those rocks.

Jeffrey Jones:
You sure?

Phineas Bogg:
Hey kid, I was a pirate long before I was a Voyager. Where do you think I got these clothes?

Phineas Bogg:
One good thing about swamps, they're soft.

Jeffrey Jones:
Yeah, and foggy. Just how it's supposed to be. Is this the right date?

Phineas Bogg:
[opens the Omni] January 8th, 1815 and it's red.

Jeffrey Jones:
Maybe it's not Lafitte. Let's find out what's going on.

Phineas Bogg:
It's going to be Lafitte. I know it is.

Dr. Erika Schumann:
What is safe anymore? We used to have respect, used to have a life. Now... What are we? Huh. Just something to buy? Sell? Throw away? That's not what people are for.

[talking to Von Braun's scientists about living in the US]

Jeffrey Jones:
I've traveled. Boy, have I traveled. Look, it's not the only place to live, but it stands for what you're looking for. It means being able to do what you want, being able to go where you want. [looks at Phineas]

Phineas Bogg:
Go on. You're doing fine.

Jeffrey Jones:
And if you want to build rockets to go into space, well nobody but nobody can beat us. Why do you think we're winning this war? [to Phineas] Think I overdid it?

Phineas Bogg:
[beams proudly] You've got my vote Senator.

Phineas Bogg:
[to Von Braun] Somehow I'm going to see that you make it to the Americans. But I can't do that if one of your own people is sabotaging us every step of the say.

Phineas Bogg:
I guess it's hard to think about leaving your country and starting all over again, huh?

Dr. Erika Schumann:
It is.

Phineas Bogg:
Well, this may not make very much sense right now, but believe me, if you and the others can get to the Americans; everything's going to be all right. You'll have a decent life.

Phineas Bogg:
[to Von Braun over the radio, on eluding the Nazis] I can't promise you anything, but there's still a good chance you can get through.

Werner Von Braun:
What are you talking about?

Phineas Bogg:
I have a plan but we'll have to work fast. And I'll need your help Doctor. We're going to make the Nazi's think the Americans are attacking the village.

Werner Von Braun:
You won't let go of me will you?

Phineas Bogg:
You're the man. You've always been the man. Your people know it and you know it too.

Phineas Bogg:
Leyte Island, Philippines, 1944.

Jeffrey Jones:
World War II. This is great.

Phineas Bogg:
Great? You're getting a little warped kid. No war is great.

Phineas Bogg:
[looking at the flashing red Omni] December 6, 1941, Pearl Harbor. Right on target.

Jeffrey Jones:
Tomorrow that'll be a bad joke.

Jeffrey Jones:
You know Bogg it is kind of hard not to try.

Phineas Bogg:
What?

Jeffrey Jones:
To change history.

Phineas Bogg:
Oh. Yeah I know. One of the drawbacks of the job.

Phineas Bogg:
[to Jackie Knox] The kid and I travel back through time with that time machine you confiscated from us. And when we land in some place where something's wrong, we try to get things back on the right track.

Jackie Knox:
Have you ever thought of quitting?

Phineas Bogg:
Sure, lots of times. But, I don't know I... This is what I do. It's what I want to do. I couldn't quit.

Abraham Lincoln:
I don't remember seeing you at the White House?

Phineas Bogg:
[dressed as a soldier] No Sir, you wouldn't have. I just returned from the front.

Abraham Lincoln:
Oh yeah... what front?

Phineas Bogg:
...Western front?

Abraham Lincoln:
Ah, it's been a hard campaign up there!

Phineas Bogg:
What happens if the South does win the Civil War?

Jeffrey Jones:
Are you kidding me?

Phineas Bogg:
You're the history book in pants.

Jane Phillips:
You dance beautifully. I suppose you do, uh, everything as well?

Phineas Bogg:
Some things I do much better.

Jeffrey Jones:
You know, I've gotta tell ya, you were really hot out there. I didn't know you could dance like that.

Phineas Bogg:
Are you kidding? Didn't you ever hear of Nijinsky?

Jeffrey Jones:
Come on Bogg. You're not going to tell me you taught Nijinsky how to dance?

Phineas Bogg:
Taught him? Wednesday matinees I was Nijinsky.

Susan:
So, Phineas Bogg, you find yourself in the field without your Voyager guidebook.

Phineas Bogg:
Uh, that's right. But I had Jeffrey.

Brindle:
Are you telling this tribunal that Jeffrey became your guidebook?

Phineas Bogg:
Yes. I'll admit I was a little leery about it at first myself.

Prof. Garth:
We must now weigh the evidence presented here. And our decision will affect not only the career of Voyager Phineas Bogg and the future of young Jeffrey Jones, but of the fate of all Voyagers. Of course, ultimately, we're charged with upholding the Voyager Code and the safety of the past, present and future, which that code and all Voyagers are sworn to defend.

Phineas Bogg:
Just once I'd like to land on a haystack. A nice, soft, sweet smelling haystack.

Phineas Bogg:
Do you know what you've done? History's gonna change because you couldn't control your shaggy little mutt. Empires are gonna fall. Wars are gonna rage. I'm gonna lose my job!

Jeffrey Jones:
Your job! Who do you think you are? You break into my room. You knock me out a window. You bring me here, wherever I am. You deserve to lose your lousy job!

Phineas Bogg:
Yeah!

Jeffrey Jones:
Yeah!

Phineas Bogg:
[mutters] Smart kids give me a pain.

Jeffrey Jones:
Who are you? What are you?

Phineas Bogg:
What am I? I'm a Voyager. You ever hear of one?

Jeffrey Jones:
[shakes his head]

Phineas Bogg:
'Course not. No one has. We're the people that are plucked out of time and trained to travel through the ages to help history along. You know, uh, give it a shove where it's needed. Problem is though, you see, there was this blonde in my class, real nice legs and she had a mole right here

[touches his right cheek]

Phineas Bogg:
and this kind of mysterious way of talkin'. Kind of distracted me, you know? Uh, maybe you don't know. Anyway I figured I didn't have to pay attention. The guidebook tells you what you gotta do.

Phineas Bogg:
Terrific. Wonderful. We get airplanes into the war so they can blow us to bits. Who was that guy?

Jeffrey Jones:
It was red. Richtofen.

Phineas Bogg:
Richtofen? That guy with Mary?

Jeffrey Jones:
Rickenbacker. Richtofen's the Red Baron.

Jeffrey Jones:
And this whole thing's because of a girl?

Phineas Bogg:
Because of a girl? Kid, wars have been fought over women. One day, you'll understand. But I really don't blame Agnes. This is a case of three people being confused about what they really want. Agnes thinks she wants love when all she really cares about is romance. Orville and Wilbur think they want Agnes when all they really care about is flying.

Jeffrey Jones:
It's suicide!

Phineas Bogg:
I'm a Voyager, kid. Sometimes you gotta bite the bullet.

Jeffrey Jones:
Eddie. Mary.

Eddie Rickenbacker:
Who are you?

Jeffrey Jones:
Jeffrey Jones. [looks at Bogg; surprised that Eddie and Mary don't recognize them]

Phineas Bogg:
That was another war, kid. I'm Phineas Bogg. This is Jeff, my son.

Phineas Bogg:
The first thing we have to do is find out how much time we have.

Jeffrey Jones:
Are you crazy? We've got to stop this ship!

Phineas Bogg:
Jeffrey, look...

Jeffrey Jones:
Over a thousand people are gonna die. We can stop it. We can make it so it never happened.

Phineas Bogg:
That's not what's wrong.

Jeffrey Jones:
How can you say that?

Phineas Bogg:
I know it's hard to understand, but sometimes history's cruel. There's, there's wars, disasters, injustices, but some of those things, no matter how much you want them not to happen, are supposed to happen.

Jeffrey Jones:
But the Titanic...

Phineas Bogg:
Is a terrible tragedy, but it's going to happen. It was in my guidebook, you learned it in school. We can't change that. But we can find out why the Omni's red. Maybe somebody's on board that isn't supposed to be. Maybe we can save somebody important before it goes down.

Jeffrey Jones:
No! We can save them all!

Phineas Bogg:
No, we can't.

[Jeffrey is trying to figure out where he and Bogg are by the manner of people's dress]

Phineas Bogg:
This isn't a fashion show. I need names, places.

Jeffrey Jones:
Well ask that broken down Mickey Mouse watch of yours.

Phineas Bogg:
I'll deal with that smart mouth of yours later.

Jeffrey Jones:
If you'd like to learn more about Lawrence of Arabia or Thomas Edison, take a voyage to your local library. It's all in books!