Walk a Mile in My Pradas

Young Tony Parisi:
Mommy, do you think they sing good?

Mary:
They sing well. Be more careful with your English.

Sister Betty:
Gay is evil, Tony. Gay is evil.

Stefanie:
BTW, you didn't get her something stupid again this year, did you?

Tony:
Whadda you mean "something stupid again?" I buy great gifts.

Stefanie:
OMG, really? A twin set of snuggies?

Tony:
OMG, yes!

John:
I don't get it. Here we have another state makin' it legal for gay couples to get married AND have kids.

Mary:
What's wrong with that?

John:
Tony, would you like to tell your mother what's wrong with that?

Tony:
Marriage is an institution between a man ad a woman. Besides, no kid should have to have two fathers.

John:
Dhat's right.

Tony:
One's bad enough.

Tony:
Hey, where's the new guy from?

Brian:
It's the boss's nephew.

Tony:
The boss has a fudge-packer for a nephew?

Tony:
So, we had a new guy at work.

Sarah:
Mmm, tell me.

Tony:
Homo.

Sarah:
Oh, Tony, please don't use that word.

Tony:
Well, what word do you want me to use?

Sarah:
Well, why do you have to label him at all? Can't he just be a guy you work with, end of story?

Tony:
I think you mean END OF FAIRY TALE.

Tony:
What happened? You break a nail?

Steve:
No, I got my finger caught. What are we, in kindergarten?

Tony:
Why? You wanna take a nap with me?

Steve:
You're the last person I would want to take nap with.

Tony:
Oh, come on, Steve. I saw you checkin' out my ass.

Steve:
The only reason I would check out YOUR ass is if I needed a place to show my home movies.

Tony:
Brian, tell me, do I have a flat ass?

Brian:
I don't know, Tony. Pull down your pants so we can all see?

Joe Bergers:
This is my Secret Santa gift?

Sarah:
Yes.

Joe Bergers:
And did Tony pick it out?

Sarah:
Yes.

Joe Bergers:
So my guess is: lesbian porn DVD?

Tony:
You two know each other.

Steve:
Yes, we met when I studied abroad.

Tony:
I didn't think you studied broads.

Tony:
Does, uh, my make-up look okay?

Michael:
No, you... you still look forty.

Kathy:
Where's the bathroom?

Tony:
Don't you ladies go in pairs? Steve, why don'tcha go with her?

Tony:
[seeing Steve and Michale kiss] Guys... Get a bathhouse.

Steve:
You know, I am sick and tired of your homophobic slurs.

Tony:
I didn't slur. I said it very clearly.

Tony:
[checking out a man's butt] Wow! Bet a quarter up THAT ass you'd get change back.

Steve:
[checking out a woman's butt] Wow. I'd like to bang THAT like a screen door in a hurricane.

Steve:
How are you supposed to tell your lover that you've suddenly switched to the other side?

Trish:
Ask Anne Hache.

Informercial Guy:
Take a fresh breath mint so I can kiss you.

[Sarah hopes Tony was dreaming about her]

Sarah:
Because Mr. soldier's at full salute right now, and if you weren't dreamin' about me, then you were dreamin' about some OTHER woman.

Tony:
I promise I wasn't dreamin' about another woman.

Tony:
That Martha Stewart really knows what she's talkin' about.

[repeated line]

Sarah, Michael:
Who is this stranger in my apartment?

Tony:
Second ago I was a perfect gentleman.

Sarah:
Well... gentlemen are overrated, then.

Steve:
Doc, the problem's not me getting it up, it's who I'm getting it up FOR.

Doctor Feist:
What're you talking about?

Steve:
I'm GAY but I'm only attracted to women.

Laura:
Oh, my God, why haven't you called me?

Brian:
I, uh, ran out of minutes.

Danny:
With all due disrespect, why don't you get your fudge-packin' ass outta my apartment, now?

Laura:
I think I'm bulimic. I just keep forgetting to throw up.

Steve:
Don't be such a heterophobe.