Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

Dewey Cox:
"...and remember it doesn't say Cox, unless I say it tastes like Cox."

Dewey Cox:
[to his pet chimpanzee] "I've had it with all this crap! All you care about is fruit and touching yourself. Well, f*** you! But seriously let's f***, NOW!"

Dewey Cox:
"YOU CAN TAKE THE CHILDREN BUT YOU LEAVE ME MY MONKEY!!!"

Nate:
Let's go play machete fight. Ain't no terrible tragedy's gonna happen today!

John Lennon:
With meditation, there's no limit to what you can... Imagine.

Elvis Presley:
See that? That's call karate. Only two kinds of people know that... the Chinese and the King.

Pa Cox:
The wrong kid died.

Nurse:
He needs more blankets and he need less blankets! Doctor: [gravely] I'm afraid you're right.

Darlene:
[shouting] IT'S A MIRACLE!!!!!!!!!!!

Dewey Cox:
Maybe you don't believe in me at all.

Edith:
I do believe in you... I just know you're gonna fail.

Maharishi:
Only through meditation can we begin to understand our role...

Paul McCartney:
[eyes closed, waving hands] We're nothing but...grains of sand.

Dewey Cox:
That was freakin' transcendental, Paul McCartney. Don't you agree, John Lennon?

John Lennon:
Yes, Dewey. With meditation there's no limit to what we can...[glances at camera]...imagine.

Dewey Cox:
What do you think, George Harrison, of the Beatles?

George Harrison:
I don't know, y'know, I'm just trying to get a few more songs on the album...

Ringo Starr:
And as Ringo Starr, I'm not so interested in meditation. I just like to have fun. [flashes peace sign]

Dewey Cox:
[laughs] I like the little one.

George Harrison:
It's so dark in this tent, y'know, it reminds me of when we, the Beatles, the four Beatles, us...

Paul McCartney:
From Liverpool.

John Lennon:
We are from Liverpool.

George Harrison:
...used to play those dark clubs in Hamburg. You remember that, Paul?

Paul McCartney:
[carefully] Of course I do, I booked 'em. I'm the leader of the Beatles.

Dewey Cox:
But I have to say, I like your stuff. It's pretty good, and most of your records I really enjoy.

Paul McCartney:
Well, we're big fans of your records too. We like to think that "Hard Day's Night" is our "Guilty As Charged".

John Lennon:
Great record. Great record.

Theo:
Well, we're real big fans of y'all.

Sam:
Huge fans.

Dave:
You guys are almost as good as the Monkees. You guys are great.

Ringo Starr:
I think I might adjourn to another dimension, take some LSD. You care to join me?

Sam:
Let's do that.

George Harrison:
Care to join us for some LSD, Dewey? It's good for you.

Paul McCartney:
Built by scientists, it is.

Ringo Starr:
Lysergic.

Dewey Cox:
[points at wedding ring] Gotta check with headquarters.

John Lennon:
Come on, Dewey Cox, I think you might enjoy it...open up your mind, a new experience, a new level of consciousness, like we did, because we are the Beatles.

Paul McCartney:
Why don't you just let him decide. If he wants to take LSD he'll take it. He doesn't have to listen to you, you're not the boss of him.

John Lennon:
[sulkily] Don't tell me what to say and what not to say, Paul McCartney.

Paul McCartney:
I'm sick of you being so dark when I'm so impish and whimsical! I'm sick of it!

John Lennon:
Hey look everyone, I've got a brand new mantra! [hums] Paul's a big fat c*nt.

George Harrison:
Don't know why you two don't let me write more songs, y'know, I just sit here, while me guitar quietly whimpers...

Paul McCartney:
Well, you are the quiet one, so why don't you shut the f*** up?

Ringo Starr:
[whining] I've got a song about an octopus.

John Lennon:
Jam it up your ass. You're lucky we still let you play the drums.

Dewey Cox:
Wow. Seems like there's a rift happening between the Beatles.

John Lennon:
[to Paul] I wonder if your songs will still be sh*t when I'm sixty-four.

[Paul attacks John; they begin to wrestle]

Dewey Cox:
[singing] In my dreams, you're blowing me... some kisses.

Darlene:
[singing] That's one of my favorite things to do.

Sam:
[after Dewey accidentally barges in a room filled with smoke and groupies] Get outta here, Dewey!

Dewey Cox:
What are y'all doin' in here?

Sam:
We're smoking reefer and you don't want no part of this sh*t.

Dewey Cox:
You're smoking *reefers*?

Sam:
Yeah, 'course we are; can't you smell it?

Dewey Cox:
[somberly] No, Sam. I can't.

Girl Groupie:
Come on, Dewey! Join the party! [takes a hit off a joint]

Sam:
No, Dewey, you don't want this. Get outta here!

Dewey Cox:
You know what, I don't want no hangover. I can't get no hangover.

Sam:
It doesn't give you a hangover!

Dewey Cox:
Wha-I get addicted to it or something?

Sam:
It's not habit-forming!

Dewey Cox:
Oh, okay... well, I don't know... I don't want to overdose on it.

Sam:
You can't OD on it!

Dewey Cox:
It's not gonna make me wanna have sex, is it?

Sam:
It makes sex even better!

Dewey Cox:
Sounds kind of expensive.

Sam:
It's the cheapest drug there is.

Dewey Cox:
[at a loss and out of excuses] Hmm.

Sam:
You don't want it!

Dewey Cox:
I think I kinda want it.

Sam:
Okay, but just this once. Come on in.

Edith:
...completely out of milk, I had to go all the way down to Peach Street.

Dewey:
Oh brother, can you believe it? Yes Bert?

Bert:
Hey Dewey, do you want a cup of coffee or something?

Dewey:
No thank you. Will you give me a minute? I am on the phone with my wife.

Edith:
Who's that?

Dewey:
Oh that's Bert, my roadie. Just wants to know if I want any coffee or anything like that.

Edith:
Dewey, there's a distance growing between us, I feel. I don't like it.

Dewey:
Now that is crazy talk Edith. You know I'm the same old Dewey.

Bert:
Hey Dewey.

Dewey:
Yes Bert?

Bert:
You seen my sandals?

Dewey:
I don't know! I'm talking to my wife Bert.

Life made him tough. Love made him strong. Music made him hard.