WALL-E

WALL-E:
[repeated line] WALL-E.

WALL-E:
[repeated line] EVE!

WALL-E:
[showing EVE bubble-wrap and popping a bubble] Pop! [points to EVE] You pop!

EVE:
[repeated line, to WALL-E] Who are you?

EVE:
[repeated line] WALL-E!

EVE:
[repeated line] Directive.

M-O:
[repeated line, from his computer] Foreign Contaminant!

M-O:
[repeated line] EVE!

M-O:
[after realizing that WALL-E is completely dirty] Huh? Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa whoa whoa whoa!

The Captain:
[Banging weakly on his cabin door after AUTO confines him to his quarters] Auto! Auto! Mutiny! Mutiny! Stupid wheel!

The Captain:
[last line] This is called farming! You kids are gonna grow all kinds of plants! Vegetable plants, pizza plants. [laughs] Oh, it's good to be home!

The Captain:
[looks at the time] 12:30?! AUTO, why didn't you wake me for morning announcements? Honestly, it's the one thing I get to do on this ship.

The Captain:
Well, good morning, everybody, and welcome to Day 255,642 aboard the Axiom. As always, the weather is a balmy 72 degrees and sunny, and, uh... Oh, I see the ship's log is showing that today is the 700th anniversary of our five year cruise. Well, I'm sure our forefathers would be proud to know that 700 years later we'd be... doing the exact same thing they were doing. So, be sure next mealtime to ask for your "Free Septuacentennial Cupcake In A Cup"! Wow, look at that. And, also we got, uhh... Hey, what's that flashing button?

The Captain:
Wait, that doesn't look like Earth. Where's the blue sky? Where's t-the grass?

The Captain:
[taunting AUTO] That's right, the plant. Oh, you want it? Come and get it Blinky!

The Captain:
We'll see who's powerless now!

The Captain:
Wait, that doesn't look like Earth. Where's the blue sky? Where's the-the grass?

The Captain:
[to the passengers, while fighting with Auto in an attempt to return to Earth] Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking! We're having a slight malfunction with the autopilot! Please remain calm!

Auto:
Captain, you are needed on the bridge.

Auto:
[repeated line] Give me the plant.

Auto:
[repeated line] Not possible.

Auto:
[repeated line] No.

Ship's Computer:
Time for lunch... in a cup!

Ship's Computer:
[advertising bodysuits] Try blue, it's the new red!

Ship's Computer:
[repeated line] Caution: Rogue robots.

EVE:
[repeats "Directive" in multiple languages] Directive?

WALL-E:
[demonstrates his trash-compacting function] Ta-dah!

EVE:
Ohhh...

WALL-E:
Dirrrrr-ect-tivvve?

EVE:
Directive? [WALL-E nods; Eve turns away sharply] Classified.

WALL-E:
Oh.

EVE:
Name? [scans him]

WALL-E:
WALL-E.

EVE:
WALL-E. WALL-E.

[giggles]

EVE:
EVE.

WALL-E:
[attempting to pronounce it] Eeee...

EVE:
EVE.

WALL-E:
Eeeee... aah.

EVE:
"EVE"! "EVE"!

WALL-E:
Eeeee... va?

[EVE giggles]

Ship's Computer:
Caution: Rogue robots. Caution...

WALL-E:
Oh, EVE. [points at screen with them on it; EVE fires a laser blast at the screen, destroying it] Ohh... [folds up inside himself]

Ship's Computer:
Voice confirmation required.

Captain:
Uhhh...

Ship's Computer:
[after the "uhh" echoes] Accepted.

Mary:
I didn't know we had a pool!

Mary:
[a group of youngsters rolls on the floor of the leaning ship toward where their arms stretch out as a barrier beyond the other fallen passengers] John, get ready to have some kids!

Teacher Robot:
A is for Axiom, your home sweet home. B is for Buy N Large, your very best friend.

Mary:
[looks at the stars outside the Axiom while other passengers pass idly by] Oh! So many stars! Ah.

[she sees WALL-E and EVE dancing around outside]

Mary:
Oh! Hey! That's what's-his-name!

[backs up, bumps into John]

John:
Hey! What the-?

Mary:
Look! Look, look, look!

[she shuts off his chair and screen, making him aware of his surroundings]

John:
Huh? What?

[sees WALL-E and EVE]

John:
Hey... I know that guy! It's uh, uh... WALL-E! That's it! Hey - WALL-E! It's your buddy John!

Mary:
[simultaneously] Hey! Hi, WALL-E!

[John casually puts his right hand upon Mary's]

John:
[looks down, somewhat surprised; looks up at Mary, smiles] Hi.

Mary:
[smiles] Hi.

Auto:
All communications are terminated. You are confined to quarters.

'Captain:
No! Mutiny! MUTINY!

[AUTO closes the door]

WALL-E:
[M-O has finished cleaning a severely damaged WALL-E, who strains to give a handshake] WALL-E.

MO:
[scrubs WALL-E's hand, then shakes it] M-O.

[M-O reverts to his box form]

WALL-E:
[pause] M-O?

MO:
M-O.

WALL-E:
[another pause] M-O.

[First lines]

Voice in commercial:
Too much garbage in your face? There's plenty of space out in space! BnL StarLiners leaving each day. We'll clean up the mess while you're away.

Voice in commercial:
[a commercial appears as a hologram when WALL-E passes nearby] The jewel of BnL fleet: The Axiom! Spend your five year cruise in style: Maided on 24 hours a day by our fully automated crew, while your captain and autopilot chart a course for non-stop entertainment, fine dining, and with our all-access hoverchairs, even grandma can join the fun! There's no need to walk! The Axiom - putting the "star" in executive StarLiner!...

Shelby Forthright, BnL CEO:
[appears on the screen] ...because at BnL, space is the final "FUN-tier"!

AUTO:
[has just shown the Captain directive A-113, which is a message not to return to Earth due to rising toxicity levels making life unsustainable] Now, the plant.

Captain:
No, wait a minute. Computer, when was the message sent out to the Axiom?

Ship's Computer:
Message received in the year 2110.

Captain:
That's... That's nearly 700 years ago! Auto, things have changed! We've gotta go back!

AUTO:
Sir, orders are do not return to Earth.

Captain:
But life is sustainable now! Look at this plant - green and growing. It's living proof he was wrong!

AUTO:
Irrelevant, Captain.

Captain:
What?! It's completely relevant! [moves toward the window] Out there is our home. HOME, Auto! And it's in trouble. I can't just sit here and-and do nothing. [moves back toward Auto] That's all I've ever done! That's all anyone on this blasted ship has ever done - nothing!

AUTO:
On the Axiom, you will survive.

Captain:
I don't want to survive! I want to live!

AUTO:
Must follow my directive.

Captain:
[groans in frustration, then turns around and notices that Auto is looming closer in the portraits of his predecessors; AUTO looms close behind him making him tighten his cap] I'm the captain of the Axiom. We are going home today!

[Auto advances him threateningly, causing the Captain to flinch]

Captain:
Define "hoedown".

Ship's Computer:
Hoedown: A social gathering at which lively dancing would take place.

Captain:
[AUTO appears nearby] AUTO! Earth is amazing! These are called "farms". Humans would put seeds in the ground, pour water on them, and they grow food - like, pizza!

AUTO:
[shuts off information display] Good night, Captain.

Captain:
Aww! [starts to move away from workstation, but stops and turns around slightly] Psst - Computer, define "dancing".

Ship's Computer:
[WALL-E and EVE are seen outside a window in space, flying around] Dancing: A series of movements involving two partners, where speed and rhythm match harmoniously with music.

[Camera cuts to outside the Axiom, and WALL-E and EVE continue to "dance"]

Shelby Forthright, BnL CEO:
[appears onscreen in an old classified recorded message] Hey there, autopilots. Got some bad news. Um... Operation Cleanup has, well uh, failed. Wouldn't you know, rising toxicity levels have made life unsustainable on Earth.

Captain:
[to himself, looking at the plant] Unsustainable? What?

Captain:
"Easier"?

Shelby's advisor:
Mr. President, sir. Sir! Time to go.

Shelby Forthright, BnL CEO:
[overlapping] Uh, I think - huh? Okay, I'm giving override, uh, Directive A113. Go to full autopilot, take control of everything, and do not return to Earth. I repeat, do not return to Earth. Let's get the heck outta here.

Teacher Robot:
(while the babies are constantly crying) Remain calm. Remain calm.

Captain:
AUTO, you are relieved of duty! [strains up and switches AUTO to "manual"]

AUTO:
Nooooooooo.

After 700 years of doing what he was built for - he'll discover what he's meant for.

In Space, No One Can Hear You Clean

He's got a lot of time on his hands.

An Adventure Beyond the Ordinar-E

[WALL-E whistles song. WALL-E clears throat. EVE turn around to see WALL-E, fall down. WALL-E gets up and stands, whistles]

WALL-E:
Huh?

EVE:
[repeats "Directive" in multiple languages until she speaks English] Directive? [WALL is at first confused] Directive?

WALL-E:
[understads her question and demonstrates his trash-compacting function] Ta-da!

EVE:
Ooh.

WALL-E:
Dirrrrr-ect-tivvve?

EVE:
Directive? [WALL-E nods; Eve turns away sharply] Classified.

WALL-E:
Oh.

EVE:
Name? [scans him]

WALL-E:
WA... WALL-E.

EVE:
WALL-E?

[giggles]

EVE:
EVE.

WALL-E:
[attempting to pronounce it] Uh...

EVE:
EVE.

WALL-E:
Eeeee...

EVE:
"EVE"! "EVE"!

WALL-E:
Eee...VA.

[EVE giggles]

WALL-E:
EVE.

EVE:
EVE.

[Sandstorm alert]

WALL-E:
EVE! EVE!

Ship's Computer:
Voice authorization required.

Captain:
Uhhh...

Ship's Computer:
[after the "uhhh" echoes] Accepted.

Captain:
Where’s the thingy.

AUTO:
Plant.

Captain:
Plant, right, right. Where’s is it.

Captain:
[Pauses] We have to go back. AUTO, come down here.

Auto:
Aye, aye, sir.

EVE:
WALL-E. [WALL-E sighs] WALL-E!

Captain:
AUTO, EVE found the plant. Fire up the Holo detector.

Auto:
Not necessary, Captain. You may give it to me.

Captain:
[stops AUTO] You know what? I should do it myself.

Auto:
Captain. [AUTO blocks the captain's path] Sir, I insist you give me the plant.

Captain:
AUTO, get out of my way.

AUTO:
We cannot go home.

Captain:
What are you talking about? Why not?

AUTO:
That is classified, Captain. Give me the plant.

Captain:
What do you mean "classified"? You don't keep secrets from the captain.

[AUTO tries to take the plant]

AUTO:
Give me the plant.

Captain:
Tell me what's classified!

AUTO:
The plant.

[Captain stops AUTOfrom taking the plant]

Captain:
Tell me, AUTO! That's an order!

[In a moment of silence, AUTO stops, just as the Captain gives him a stern glance]

AUTO:
Aye-aye, sir.

Shelby Forthright, BnL CEO:
[appears onscreen in an old classified recorded message] Just cut it out, will ya. Hey there, autopilots. Got some bad news. Um... Operation Cleanup has, well uh, failed. Wouldn't you know, rising toxicity levels have made life unsustainable on Earth.

Captain:
[to himself, looking at the plant] Unsustainable? What?

Shelby Forthright, BnL CEO:
Darn it all, we're gonna have to cancel Operation: Recolonize. So uh, just stay the course, um... Rather than try and fix this problem, it'll just be easier for everyone to remain in space.

Captain:
"Easier"?

Shelby's advisor:
Mr. President, sir. Sir! Time to go.

Shelby Forthright, BnL CEO:
[overlapping] Uh, I think - huh? Okay, I'm giving override, uh, Directive A113. Go to full autopilot, take control of everything, and do not return to Earth. Repeat, do not return to Earth. Let's get the heck outta here.

[M-O and the other defective robots catch up to Wall-E and EVE having a tender moment]

PR-T:
Are you kidding?

M-O:
[Pushes the other robots away] Go! Go, go, go!

[Most of the other defective robots turn away and leave except for BRL-A(the umbrella robot) who wants to see what's going on. M-O pushes him back.]

Captain B. Mccrea:
We can go back home! For the first time!

Captain B. Mccrea:
We have to go back.

Captain B. Mccrea:
I don't want to survive! I wanna live!

Captain B. Mccrea:
I'm the captain of the Axiom. We are going home today.

Captain B. Mccrea:
This is mutiny! EVE, arrest him.

Captain B. Mccrea:
NO!!! Mutiny! Mutiny!

Captain B. Mccrea:
We'll see who's powerless now.

Captain B. Mccrea:
Testing. Testing. Is this thing on?

Captain B. Mccrea:
Too heavy for you?! Huh?!

Captain B. Mccrea:
You're not getting away from me, one-eye!

Captain B. Mccrea:
Is that all you got?!