Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

Mr. Windfall:
I hope your dog hasn't left a deposit in my bank!

Victor Quartermaine:
Argh! Foiled at the last hurdle!

Lady Tottington:
[hitting him with a carrot] Never mind! Take that instead baldy!

Lady Tottington:
[over the phone] I have the most terrible rabbit problem. The competition is only days away. You simply have to do something.

Wallace:
Certainly, M'am [to Gromit] I think we're about to go up in the world, lad. [back to the phone] Just stay right where you are, Your Ladyship, and we'll be there in an- [hits the control panel and gets dragged up through the ceiling] AHHHHHHHH!!

Tottington:
In an hour? I can't wait an hour. I have a major infestation.

Tottington:
Victor, hadn’t we agreed: no more thoughtless killing.

Victor:
Quite right, my dear. So I've thought this through very carefully. [aims gun at a rabbit, who puts his paws up] It's off to bunny heaven for you, big-ears.

[Quartermaine's hairpiece has been sucked up into the Bun-Vac 6000.]

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
I want... [lowers voice] toupeé, please.

Wallace:
Oh, Grand. We take check or cash.

Victor:
TOUPEÉ, you idiot! My hair is in in your machine!

Wallace:
Oh, no, it's only rabbits in there. The hare, I think you'll find, is a much larger mammal.

Victor:
Oh, out of my way, you! [retrieves his toupeé; to Lady Tottington] I'm sorry, my dear. [the toupeé is actually a black bunny] But I refuse to suffer any more humiliation at the hands of these blundering nitwits. I therefore bid you good day!

Reverend Clement Hedges:
Hello? Is anybody there?

[The Were-Rabbit lets out an enormous belch.]

Rev. Hedges:
Mrs. Mulch?

Mr. Growbag:
I never saw such cauliflower carnage! Worse than the Great Slug Blight of '32. When there were slugs the size of pigs.

Mrs. Mulch:
Growbag's right! The slugs are back!

PC Macintosh:
[surveying the damage left by the Were-Rabbit] Look, this flippin' vegetable competition causes nothing but trouble every year.

Man 1:
Here we go.

Macintosh:
[surveying the damage left by the Were-Rabbit] If you ask me-

Man 2:
Get on with you!

Macintosh:
No, I'll tell ya. If you ask me, this was arson.

[The townspeople gasp.]

Man 3:
Arson?

Macintosh:
Aye. Someone arsin' around. That's right. One of you lot. A man.

Victor:
[in the forest] I know your little secret, Pesto! I know exactly what's going on!

Wallace:
Your Lordship?

Victor:
Oh, yes. You think you can pilfer my filly, don't you? You think you can con an innocent woman out of her fortune?

Wallace:
Who, me?

Victor:
Well, I got here first! I've spent a lot of time reeling in that fluffy-headed bunny-lover, and I'm not about to let some puddle-headed peasant poach her from me! Comprendez?

Clement Hedges:
The beast lurks within all of us, my child. [thunderclap] The side of us that emerges at night as the moon rises into the sky! The side that savagely rips the leaves off any innocent cabbage...!

Victor:
Oh, spare me the sermon, Vicar! Just tell me how I kill him! Er, I mean 'it'.

Clement:
To kill such a creature would require nerves of steel, and...[pause]... a bullet. [thunderclap]

Victor:
A bullet? [thunderclap]

Hedges:
A bullet! [thunderclap]

Victor:
A bull-? [louder thunderclap] Ooh! [closes window to blot out noise] What KIND of bullet?

Hedges:
A bullet... of pure... gold! [opens his cabinet to show the gold bullets]

Victor:
[amused] Gold?

Hedges:
Yes... 24 'karot'! [giggles]

Victor:
[unamused] Oh. Get out of my way. [takes the bullets] Silly old fool.

Hedges:
[as Victor walks out the door] Beware! BEWARE THE BEAST WITHIN!!

Wallace:
Oh, it's hopeless! I'll never fix this flippin' machine. Me mind's just a rabbit-y mush. Oh, Gromit! I don't wanna be a giant rabbit! [sobbing]

Hutch the Rabbit:
Aww, the bounce is gone from his bungee.

Reverend Clement Hedges:
[at the fair] Ah, Mr. Growbag. I have a hunch this will be a night to remember.

Mr Growbag:
[looks at his back] I just have a hunch.

[Everyone thinks Victor's a hero]

Civilian 1:
Please, sir... [holds up vegetable] kiss my baby,

Victor:
Another time, perhaps.

Civilian 2:
[holds up vegetable] Kiss my potato,

Victor:
Not now.

Mr. Growbag:
Kiss my artichoke, [holds up his vegetable]

Victor:
Look, just-

Tottington:
Victor.

Victor:
Campanula!

Tottington:
Victor, I have to know. Did it guilty?

Victor:
Of course not, my dear. [sotto] Not yet, anyway.

Victor:
[whispering] Listen, I don't want to cause any panic, but the beast isn't actually dead yet.

Mactinosh:
[speaking through megaphone] THE BEAST ISN'T ACTUALLY DEAD YET?! [everyone turns around and hear what he said] Oops.

Victor:
No one beats Victor Quartermaine!

Tottington:
Is that so? [knocks him with a giant carrot] Consider yourself dumped.

Wallace:
[to Gromit, while holding a carrot and wearing giant rabbit ears] Er, what's up, dog?

Wallace:
It's a veritable... vegetable... paradise.

Wallace:
Just a bit of harmless brain alteration, that's all.

Wallace:
Lovely food, for rabbits, that is.

Wallace:
Still got me on the diet, eh, Gromit? Watching me shape. Ha Ha, there's a good dog.

Wallace:
I'm just crackers about cheese.

Wallace:
[at the Academy Awards of his and Gromit's movie, presented by Reese Witherspoon] Ooh! I do like a bit of Gorgonzola.

Wallace:
Veg bad...veg bad...veg bad. Say no to carrots, cabbage, and cauliflower.

Lady Campanula Tottington:
Please, Wallace, call me "Totty".

Lady Campanula Tottington:
Run, rabbit, run!

Lady Campanula Tottington:
[to Victor after knocking him out with a giant carrot] Is that so? Consider yourself dumped.

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
There's No nonsense with Victor Quartermaine. What you see is what you get. [his toupee is sucked into a rabbit hole]

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
[Complaining of Wallace's job] How do you intended to finish these vermin off? Crush them? [Kicks the BunnyVac 6000] Liquidize them?

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
I Want. [Silence] To. [groans quietly] Toupee, please.

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
TOUPEE, YOU IDIOT! MY HAIR IS IN YOUR MACHINE!

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
[Growls] Out of my way fool.

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
[After firing a shot to get the crowd's attention] A were-rabbit? Oh come, come now. I do believe the Vicar's been at the communion wine again.

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
[taunting Wallace in attack] C’mon. Queensberry rules. Put ‘em up you little pipsqueak. [Wallace starts shaking] Hahahaha, you’re shaking. Don’t tell me you’re a scaredy-cat as well as a scoundrel. And don’t think acting like a big girl’s blouse will get you out of it. There’s no mercy with Victor Quartermaine.

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
[Seeing Lady Tottington crying] That's right, my lovely. You can say goodbye to your fluffy lover boy.

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
[Stopping Gromit from saving Wallace] Your loyalty is moving. Sadly, you won't be.

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
[Sees Were-Rabbit with Tottington] Get your hairy mitts off my future wife you big brute.

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
Oh, no. You commissioned me to rid you of Pesto, and that's just what I intend to do.

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
[Shoves a pitchfork in Lady Tottington's hair] Hmmmm, I rather like your hair pinned back.

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
[Watching the were-rabbit hop away] You can hop, but you can't hide, Pesto!

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
EAT CARROT, BUNNY BOY!

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
[Wallace falls to his death] No one beats Victor Quartermaine!

Pc Mackintosh:
[The Were-Rabbit is teetering on the roof of Tottington Hall, above a mob] Stand back! There may be a large rabbit dropping!

Pc Mackintosh:
Hey! Give over!

Pc Mackintosh:
Look.

Pc Mackintosh:
This flipping vegetable competition causes nothing but trouble every year.

Pc Mackintosh:
If you ask me, you know, I tell ya

Pc Mackintosh:
If you ask me, this was arson. Aye, somebody "arson" [arsin'] around.

Hutch the Rabbit:
Cheeeeeeese!

Hutch the Rabbit:
Ooh, I do like a bit of gorgonzola.

Hutch the Rabbit:
Ah, the bounce has gone from his bungee.

Hutch the Rabbit:
Hey, Presto! Rabbit rehabilitation!

Hutch the Rabbit:
Cheddar.

Hutch the Rabbit:
I'm inventing, mostly.

Hutch the Rabbit:
Charming. I'm Wallace.

Hutch the Rabbit:
Geronimo!

Hutch the Rabbit:
Your Lordship.

Hutch the Rabbit:
Good night, Gromit.

Hutch the Rabbit:
Cracking toast, Gromit.

Hutch the Rabbit:
I'm just crackers about cheese.

Hutch the Rabbit:
Monterey Jack! Wow!

Hutch the Rabbit:
Smashing Wensleydale.

Hutch the Rabbit:
Job well done, lad.

Hutch the Rabbit:
Lovely food. For rabbits, that is.

Hutch the Rabbit:
Cheese, Gromit!

Hutch the Rabbit:
Heehee! Lovely cheese, Gromit!

Hutch the Rabbit:
Don't forget the crackers.

Hutch the Rabbit:
[final line] CHEEEEEEEEESE!!

Reverend Clement Hedges:
[praying] Protect and nourish the frail and the weak, O Lord. Let them grow big and strong under Thy loving care. [camera pulls back, revealing that he is talking about his vegetables] In fact, let them grow bigger and stronger than anyone else's, so that the first prize might be mine! [applies a drop of holy water] Aaaaaaa-men.

Reverend Clement Hedges:
[holding up a pair of cucumbers like a cross] MERRRRCYYYYYYYYYY!!

Reverend Clement Hedges:
This was no man, does a man have teeth the size of axe blades? Or ears like terrible tombstones? By tampering with nature, forcing vegetables to swell far beyond their natural size, we have brought a terrible judgement upon ourselves. And for our sins, a hideous creature has been sent to punish us all! Repent! Repent! Lest you, too, taste the wrath of... THE WERE-RABBIT!!

Reverend Clement Hedges:
My poor sensitive child, allow us all to share in your moment of sorrow. [begins to walk away] YEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHH! [fireworks begin to go off and jolly music plays] ON WITH THE SHOW!

Reverend Clement Hedges:
[witnessing Victor Quartermaine caught on a weather-vane by his trousers, showing his rear end to all below] Beware the moon!

Reverend Clement Hedges:
Destroy! Drive out the monstrosity!

Mr. Growbag:
I never saw such cauliflower carnage! Worse than the Great Slug Blight of '32. When there were slugs the size of pigs.

Mr. Growbag:
[On the history of the Giant Vegetable Competition] That's right. Not even the Great Duck Plague of '53 stopped it.