Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

Wallace:
[To Gromit, while holding a carrot and wearing giant rabbit ears] Er, what's up, dog?

Wallace:
It's a veritable vegetable paradise!

Wallace:
Just a bit of harmless brain alteration, that's all.

Wallace:
Lovely food. For rabbits, that is.

Wallace:
Still got me on the diet eh, Gromit? Watching me shape. Ha Ha, there's a good dog.

Wallace:
I'm just crackers about cheese!

Lady Campanula Tottington:
Please, Wallace, call me "Totty".

Lady Campanula Tottington:
Run, rabbit, run!

Lady Campanula Tottington:
[To Victor after knocking him out with a giant carrot] Consider yourself dumped!

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
No nonsense with Victor Quartermaine. What you see is what you get. [his toupee is sucked into a rabbit hole and Lady Tottington screams.]

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
[Complaining of Wallace's job] How do you intended to finish these vermin off? Crush them? [Kicks the BunnyVac 6000] Liquidize them?

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
[Preparing to shoot the were-rabbit] Looks like the buck stops here! Eat carrot, bunny boy!

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
[Watching the were-rabbit hop away] You can hop, but you can't hide, Pesto!

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
[Stopping Gromit from saving Wallace] Your loyalty is moving. Sadly, you won't be.

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
[Seeing Lady Tottington crying] That's right, my lovely. You can say goodbye to your fluffy lover boy.

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
[Shoves a pitchfork in Lady Tottington's hair] I rather like your hair pinned back...

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
[The Were-Rabbit falls to its death] No one beats Victor Quartermaine! [Lady Tottington hits him in the head, knocking him out]

PC Mackintosh:
[The Were-Rabbit is teetering on the roof of Tottington Hall, above a group of terrified villagers] Stand back! There may be a large rabbit dropping!

PC Mackintosh:
Hey! Give over!

PC Mackintosh:
If you ask me, this was arson! Aye, somebody "arson" (arsing) around!

Hutch the Rabbit:
Cheese, Gromit!

Hutch the Rabbit:
Don't forget the crackers.

Hutch the Rabbit:
Monterey Jack! Mmmm!

Hutch the Rabbit:
Aaaw, the bounce has gone from his bungee.

Hutch the Rabbit:
I'm inventing, mostly.

Hutch the Rabbit:
Oooooooooh, I do like a bit of gorgonzola!

Hutch the Rabbit:
I'm Wallace.

Hutch the Rabbit:
Good night, Gromit.

Hutch the Rabbit:
Hey presto! Rabbit rehabilitation!

Hutch the Rabbit:
Geronimo!

Hutch the Rabbit:
Job well done, lad.

Hutch the Rabbit:
Cheeeeeeeeeese!

Hutch the Rabbit:
Lovely food. For rabbits that is

Reverend Clement Hedges:
[praying] Protect and nourish the frail and the weak, O Lord. Let them grow big and strong under Thy loving care. [camera pulls back, revealing that he is talking about his vegetables] In fact, let them grow bigger and stronger than anyone else's, so that the first prize might be mine! [applies a drop of water] Aaaaaaa-men!

Reverend Clement Hedges:
[Witnessing Victor Quartermaine caught on a weather-vane by his trousers, showing his rear end to all below] Beware the moon!

Reverend Clement Hedges:
And for our sins, a hideous creature has been sent to punish us all! Repent! Repent! Lest you, too, taste the wrath of... the Were-Rabbit!

Reverend Clement Hedges:
(holding up a pair of cucumbers like a cross) Merrrrcyyyyyyyyy!

Reverend Clement Hedges:
Let us all join you in your moment of sorrow. (begins to walk away) YEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHH! (fireworks begin to go off and jolly music plays)

Mr. Growbag:
I never saw such cauliflower carnage! Worse than the Great Slug Blight of '32. When there were slugs the size of pigs.

Mr. Growbag:
[On the history of the Giant Vegetable Competition] Not even the Great Duck Plague of '53 stopped it.

Lady Tottington:
[over the phone] I have the most terrible rabbit problem.

Wallace:
Certainly, M'um [to Gromit] I think we're about to go up in the world, lad. [back to the phone] Just stay right where you are, Your Ladyship, and we'll be there in an- [hits the control panel and gets dragged up through the ceiling.] Ahhhh!

Lady Tottington:
In an hour?! I can't wait an hour! I have a major infestation!

Lady Tottington:
Victor! I thought we'd agreed: no more thoughtless killing!

Victor:
Quite right, my dear. So I've thought this through very carefully. [aims gun at a rabbit, who puts his paws up] It's off to bunny heaven for you, big-ears!

PC McIntosh:
[Surveying the damage left by the Were-Rabbit] If you ask me, this was arson.

Townspeople:
[gasp]

Man 1:
Arson?

PC McIntosh:
Yes, arson. Someone arsin' around!

Wallace:
[sobbing] Oh, Gromit! I don't wanna be a giant rabbit!

Hutch the Rabbit:
Aww, the bounce is gone from his bungee.

[Quartermaine's hairpiece has been sucked up into the Bun-Vac 6000.]

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
I want... [lowers voice] toupeé, please.

Wallace:
Oh, yes, of course. We take cheques or cash.

Victor:
TOUPEÉ, you idiot! My hair is in in your machine!

Wallace:
Oh, no, it's only rabbits in there. The hare, I think you'll find, is a much larger mammal.

Victor:
Oh, out of my way, you! [retrieves his toupeé] [To Lady Tottington] I'm sorry, my lady. [the toupeé is actually a black bunny] But I refuse to suffer any more humiliation at the hands of these blundering nittwits. I therefore bid you good day!

Reverend Clement Hedges:
Hello? Is anyone there?

[The Were-Rabbit lets out an enormous belch.]

Rev. Hedges:
Mrs. Mulch?

Reverend Clement Hedges:
[At the fair] Ah, Mr. Growbag. I have a hunch this is a night to remember.

Mr Growbag:
[Looks at his back] I just have a hunch.

Victor:
[interupting Wallace's sentence] I know your little secret, Pesto! I know exactly what's going on!

Wallace:
Your Lordship?

Victor:
Oh, yes. You think you can pilfer my filly, don't you? You think you can con an innocent woman out of her fortune.

Wallace:
Who, me?

Victor:
Well I got here first! I've spent a lot of time reeling in that fluffy-headed bunny-lover, and I'm not about to let some puddle-headed peasant poach her from me! Comprendez?

Civilian 1:
Please, sir... [holds up vegetable] kiss my baby!

Civilian 2:
[holds up vegetable] Kiss my potato!

Mr Growbag:
Kiss my arrr... [holds up vegetable]...tichoke!

Victor (at the fair):
Constable?

PC McIntosh (into megaphone):
Careful of them capsicums.

Victor:
Look, I don't want to cause a panic, but the beast isn't actually dead yet...

PC McIntosh (into megaphone):
The beast isn't actually dead yet?!

(everything stops as everyone stares in Victor's direction)

PC McIntosh (into megaphone):
Oops.

Reverend Clement Hedges:
The beast lurks within all of us, my child. [thunderclap] The side of us that emerges at night, when the full moon rises into the sky! The side that savagely rips the leaves off any innocent cabbage...!

Victor:
Spare me the sermon, Vicar! Just tell me how I kill him! Er, I mean 'it'.

Reverend Clement Hedges:
To kill such a creature would require nerves of steel, and...[pause]... a bullet. [thunderclap]

Victor:
A bullet? [thunderclap]

Reverend Clement Hedges:
A bullet! [thunderclap]

Victor:
A bull-? [LOUD THUNDERCLAP!] Oooh! [closes window to blot out noise] What KIND of bullet?

Reverend Clement Hedges:
A bullet... of pure... gold!

Victor:
Gold.

Reverend Clement Hedges:
Yes... 24 'carrot'!

Victor:
Oh. Get out of my way. [takes the bullets] Silly old fool.

Reverend Clement Hedges:
Beware. Beware the beast within!

Something wicked this way hops.

Something bunny is going on.

Mrs. Mulch:
Growbag's right! The slugs are back!

PC Macintosh:
[surveying the damage left by the Were-Rabbit] Look, this flippin' vegetable competition causes nothing but trouble every year.

Man 1:
Here we go.

Macintosh:
[surveying the damage left by the Were-Rabbit] If you ask me-

Man 2:
Get on with you!

Macintosh:
No, I'll tell ya. If you ask me, this was arson.

[The townspeople gasp.]

Man 3:
Arson?

Macintosh:
Aye. Someone arsin' around! That's right! One of you lot! A man!

Wallace:
Oh, it's hopeless! I'll never fix this flippin' machine. Me mind's just a rabbit-y mush. Oh, Gromit! I don't wanna be a giant rabbit! [sobbing]

Hutch the Rabbit:
Aww, the bounce is gone from his bungee.

Civilian 1:
Please, sir... [holds up vegetable] kiss my baby!

Victor:
Another time, perhaps.

Civilian 2:
[holds up vegetable] Kiss my potato!

Victor:
Not now.

Mr. Growbag:
Kiss my artichoke! [holds up his vegetable]

Victor:
Look, just-

Tottington:
Victor.

Victor:
Campanula!

Tottington:
Victor, I have to know. Did it suffer?

Victor:
Of course not, my dear. [sotto] Not yet, anyway.

Wallace:
Say "No to Carrots full."

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
[After firing a shot to get the crowd's attention] A were-rabbit? Oh come, come now! I do believe the Vicar's been at the communion wine again.

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
[taunting Wallace in attack] "C’mon! Queensberry rules! Put ‘em up you little pipsqueak. [Wallace starts shaking] Hahahaha! You’re shaking! Don’t tell me you’re a scaredy-cat as well as a scoundrel. And don’t think acting like a big girl’s blouse will get you out of it. There’s no mercy with Victor Quartermaine!"

Lord Victor Quartermaine:
[Sees Were-Rabbit with Tottington] "Get your hairy mits off my future wife you big brute."

Hutch The Rabbit:
Cheddar.

Hutch The Rabbit:
Charming. I'm Wallace.

Hutch The Rabbit:
Your Lordship!

Hutch The Rabbit:
Cracking toast, Gromit.

Hutch The Rabbit:
Smashing Wensleydale!

Hutch The Rabbit:
Heehee! Lovely cheese, Gromit!

Reverend Clement Hedges:
By tampering with nature, forcing vegetables to swell far beyond their natural size, we have brought a terrible judgement upon ourselves! And for our sins, a hideous creature has been sent to punish us all! Repent! Repent! Lest you, too, taste the wrath of... the WERE-RABBIT!

Reverend Clement Hedges:
My poor sensitive child, allow us all to share in your moment of sorrow. [begins to walk away] YEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHH! [fireworks begin to go off and jolly music plays] ON WITH THE SHOW!

Reverend Clement Hedges:
Destroy! Drive out the monstrosity!!!!