Warm Bodies

Julie:
I actually miss him.

Nora:
You... you miss... him...

Julie:
I know, I'm so stupid.

Nora:
Like... like you're attracted to him...

Julie:
No, I don't...

Nora:
Like... he could be your boyfriend? Your zombie... zombie boyfriend?

[pause]

Nora:
I mean, I know it's really hard to meet guys right now, with the apocalypse and stuff. Trust me. And like I know that you miss Perry. But Julie, this is just weird. Like, I wish the internet was still working so I could just look up what whatever it is that's wrong with you.

M:
Now you're supposed to say that I'm pretty too.

Kevin:
Hey.

R:
[voice-over] Say something human. Say something human.

R:
How... are... you...?

R:
[voice-over] Nailed it.

[first lines]

R:
[voice-over] What am I doing with my life? I'm so pale. I should get out more. I should eat better. My posture is terrible. I should stand up straighter. People would respect me more if I stood up straighter. What's wrong with me? I just want to connect. Why can't I connect with people? Oh, right, it's because I'm dead. I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I mean, we're all dead. This girl is dead. That guy is dead. That guy in the corner is definitely dead. Jesus these guys look awful.

R:
[voice-over] They call these guys Bonies. They don't bother us much, but they'll eat anything with a heartbeat. I mean, I will too, but at least I'm conflicted about it.

R:
[voice-over] Don't be creepy. Don't be creepy. Don't be creepy.

[last lines]

Julie:
Do you remember your name yet?

R:
No.

Julie:
Well, you know, you could just give yourself one. Just pick one. Whatever you want.

R:
I like R.

Julie:
Really? You don't want to know what it was? You don't want your old life back?

R:
No. I want this one.

Julie:
Just R, huh?

R:
Just R.

Julie:
What are you?

[Zombies moan in agreement]

M:
They say... F***, yeah!

M:
Are you okay?

R:
No.

M:
B*tches, man.

Perry:
[R rushes towards Julie before Perry shoots him in the chest] Smile mother...

[R pulls Perry's legs out from under him and prepares to bite into his arm]

R:
[voice-over] Nice watch.

Solder #2:
We're seeing corpses fighting skeletons, sir.

Soldier #4:
Copy that, we're seeing that over here too.

Grigio:
Sorry, can you repeat that?

Solder #2:
Copy that, we're seeing corpses fighting skeletons, sir.

R:
[voice-over] So much for dreaming. You can't be whatever you want. All I'll ever be is a slow, pale, hunched-over, dead-eyed zombie. What did I think was gonna happen? That she'd actually want to stay with me? It's hopeless. This is what I get for wanting more. I should just be happy with what I had. Things don't change. I need to accept that. It's easier not to feel. Then I wouldn't have to feel like this.

R:
[voice-over] I wish I could introduce myself, but I don't remember my name anymore. I mean, I think it started with an 'r' but that's all I have left. I can't remember my name, or my parents, or my job... although my hoodie would suggest I was unemployed.

R:
[voice-over, introducing M] This is my best friend. By best friend, I mean we occasionally grunt and stare awkwardly at each other. We even have almost conversations sometimes.

R:
[voice-over] Even though we can't communicate, we do share a similar taste in food. Traveling in packs just kind of makes sense. Especially when everyone and their grandmother is trying to shoot you in the head all the time.

[pause]

R:
[voice-over] God we move slow. This could take a while.

R:
[voice-over] This date is not going well. I want to die all over again.

Nora:
[seeing R] Oh my God! Is that him?

Julie:
Yeah...

[R waves to Nora]

Nora:
[waving back] Sup?

Julie:
What's with all the vinyl? Couldn't figure out how to work an iPod?

R:
Better... sound.

Julie:
Oh, you're a purist, huh?

R:
More... alive.

Julie:
Yep, that's true. A lot more trouble, though.

[R shrugs]

Julie:
There you go again. Shrugging! Stop... shrugging, shrugger. It's a very noncommittal gesture.

[R shrugs again]

Julie:
Really?

M:
[after R stops him from eating Julie] What?

R:
Julie.

M:
Living. Eat.

[R shakes his head]

M:
[nodding] Eat.

[R doesn't back down]

M:
[angrily] Eat!

M:
Want... to help.

Julie:
Who the hell asked you?

M:
[to R] Like her.

Perry:
What the hell are you doing here? Are you actually dreaming right now?

R:
I'm not sure.

Perry:
You can't dream, corpse. Dreaming's for humans.

Julie:
Chill out, Perry. He can dream if he wants to.

[Julie approaches R]

Julie:
What about you, R? What do you want to be?

R:
I don't know. I don't even know what I am.

Julie:
Well you can be whatever you want. Isn't that what they say?

R:
We can, right? You and me?

[Julie nods]

Perry:
It's not gonna happen, lover boy. Not after you told her you ate her ex.

R:
Wait here.

M:
[quietly] Be careful. Ok?

[R nods and starts to walk away]

M:
[loudly] So I'll wait here!

R:
[voice-over] I don't wanna be this way. I'm lonely. I'm totally lost. I mean, I'm literally lost. I've never been in this part of the airport before.

[repeated line]

R:
Not safe.

R:
Stop staring! You're acting weird again.

[repeated line]

R:
Say something human.

R:
No matter what... we stay together... we're changing everything.

Julie:
I know.

R:
Stay together... promise.

Julie:
I promise.

R:
Stay... together... safe.

[R is going to find Julie]

R:
Julie and I were giving the others hope, and it was spreading fast. I guess the Bonies didn't like that. That must be why they're looking for us. I have to tell Julie. I have to explain what's happening before it's too late. I have to...

[a goat separates from a passing herd and walks toward him. R sidles away from it]

R:
...oh... no... oh no... please... go! Go with your friends! Shoo! Leave me! That's it. Okay.

[Keeps walking]

R:
There's a lot of ways to get to know a person. Eating her dead boyfriend's brains is one of the more unorthodox methods, but...

Grigio:
Are you still bleeding?

R:
Y-yes.

Grigio:
Good. [Julie glares at Grigio. Then speaks to R] Sorry.

Solder #2:
[Soldiers encounter Corpses and Boneys fighting each other] Who the hell do we shoot?

M:
[throwing a Boney at the soldiers] This a**hole! [two of the soldiers kill the Boney, and then start walking past M] Hi. Hi.