We're Not Dressing

Doris Worthington:
I suppose that you're taking me to a fate worse than death?

Stephen Jones:
How do you now it's worse than death? Have you ever died?

Hubert:
I'll never go on another uninhabited island. I don't care *who* lives there!

Gracie Martin:
[seeing Doris Worthington in a pit] We just caught Tarzan's mate!

George Martin:
Tarzan is a character in a book.

Gracie Martin:
Well, maybe he got out!

George Martin:
[watching through binoculars] Gracie, my gun! A bird!

Gracie Martin:
What?

George Martin:
A bird! A bird!

Gracie Martin:
O, my goodness. Here. [hands him a live duck]

George Martin:
Not a duck. My gun! How can you shoot with a duck?

Gracie Martin:
Well, my father used to shoot ducks. But maybe that duck wasn't loaded, eh?

George Martin:
The duck wasn't loaded but I'd like to bet that your father was.

Gracie Martin:
Well, if he wasn't then why did the duck shoot my father because I always thought...

George Martin:
Quiet! Quiet! Well, I missed him. He's gone and that was a stratospheric duck and very rare.

Gracie Martin:
Well, I am just as glad that you missed him because I don't like rare ducks. I like my ducks well-done.

Gracie Martin:
Now, take my uncle.

George Martin:
*You* take your uncle.

Gracie Martin:
They did.

Gracie Martin:
My uncle is a hunter.

George Martin:
I'd rather not hear about it.

Gracie Martin:
My uncle always goes out duck hunting. Now, Monday he takes four dogs, and Tuesday he takes three dogs, and Wednesday...

George Martin:
Gracie! Gracie, why does he take four dogs Monday and three dogs Tuesday?

Gracie Martin:
Well, because the other dog won't follow him on Tuesday.

George Martin:
Why?

Gracie Martin:
Because he shot him on Monday.

George Martin:
Nice work. He aims at little innocent birds and shoots dogs.

Gracie Martin:
Yeah, all except one dog. His favorite dog. His name is Scram.

George Martin:
Your uncle's name is Scram?

Gracie Martin:
Oh stop, no, the *dog's* name is Scram. You see, that saves my uncle a lot of money calling him Scram.

George Martin:
Because the dog's name is Scram that saves your uncle a lot of money?

Gracie Martin:
For sure. You see, when he calls the dog to feed, he hollers "Scram, Scram" and the dog runs away.

Doris Worthington:
Oh! My lingerie!

[as the wind blows her panties away]

Hubert:
It's a blessing you're not in them.

Prince Michael:
Uh, Doris, I'm not sure the sailor and the bear should be allowed to parade this deck.

Hubert:
Why not, when you think of the other things that parade this deck.

Edith:
We'll probably starve.

Prince Michael:
Oh, we'll look after you.

Prince Alexander:
Just leave everything to us.

Edith:
Now *I know* we'll starve.

Edith:
Oh, stop crabbing. The work is good for your liver.

Hubert:
Well, why I'd care? My liver never did anything for me.

Stephen Jones:
See, a little work won't hurt you... for once.

Hubert:
Oh, I don't mind work now and then. But I don't want it to become a habit.