Where the Wild Things Are

Carol:
If I was stranded on a desert island and could only take one thing, it'd be Douglas. We can share him if you want.

Alexander:
I hate this tree!

Judith:
Happiness isn't always the best way to be happy.

Max:
There were some buildings... There were these really tall buildings, and they could walk. Then there were some vampires. And one of the vampires bit the tallest building, and his fangs broke off. Then all his other teeth fell out. Then he started crying. And then, all the other vampires said, "Why are you crying? Weren't those just your baby teeth?" And he said, "No. Those were my grown-up teeth." And the vampires knew he couldn't be a vampire anymore, so they left him. The end.

Max:
Did you make this?

Carol:
Yeah, yeah.

Max:
It's very good.

Carol:
We were gonna make a whole world like this. Now, everyone used to come here, but you know... you know what it feels like when all your teeth are falling out really slowly and you don't realize and then you notice that, well, they're really far apart. And then one day... you don't have any teeth anymore.

Max:
Yeah.

Carol:
Well it was like that.

Max:
[upon seeing Carol remove his crown from a pile of bones] Are those... other kings?

Carol:
Oh, those? I don't know anything about that. Those were like that when we got here.

Carol:
Who threw Richard?

Max:
I have no plans to eat anyone.

Judith:
Happiness is not always the best way to be happy.

Douglas:
Will you keep out all the sadness?

Max:
I have a sadness shield that keeps out all the sadness, and it's big enough for all of us.

Max:
Carol, did you know the sun was gonna die?

Carol:
What? I never heard that... Oh, come on. That can't happen. I mean you're the king, and look at me, I'm big! how can guys like us worry about a tiny little thing like the sun, hmm?

Carol:
This part of your kingdom's not so good.

Max:
Why?

Carol:
Well, look: this used to be all rock, and now it's sand, and then, one day, it's going to be dust, and then the whole island will be dust, and then... well I don't even know what comes after dust.

Alexander:
You're not really a king, are you?

Carol:
I don't talk to owls. Owls are stupid.

Max:
Small is good. My powers are able to slip right through the cracks.

Judith:
But what if the cracks are closed up?

Max:
Then I have a re-cracker, which goes right through that.

Judith:
But what if they have some sort of material that re-crackers can't get through?

Max:
Then I have a double re-cracker, which can get through anything in this whole universe. And that's the end, and there's nothing more powerful after that, ever. Period.

Alexander:
He has a double re-cracker.

Ira:
He does sound powerful.

[first lines]

Max:
Hey, Claire. Wanna see something great?

Claire:
[on the phone] Who else was there?

Max:
It's an igloo! I made it.

Claire:
Yeah, my brother.

Max:
Hey, Claire!

Claire:
I can't. We're supposed to go to my dad's that weekend.

Max:
The snowplows left some snow across the street, and I dug a hole into it.

Claire:
Go and play with your friends.

[last lines]

The Bull:
Hey, Max?

Max:
Yeah?

The Bull:
When you go home, will you say good things about us?

Max:
Yeah, I will.

The Bull:
Thanks, Max.

Judith:
You're the first king we haven't eaten.

Alexander:
Yeah, that's true.

Judith:
See ya.

Alexander:
Bye, Max.

Max:
Bye.

KW:
Don't go. I'll eat you up; I love you so.

[all howl]

Alexander:
Hey, KW, you wanna be on my team? We're the BAD guys.

KW:
[laughs]

Max:
What?

KW:
You're funny looking. That's all.

Carol:
Hey king, watch this. [attempts to flip but hits tree] All right tree, we'll settle this later.

Carol:
[Max is waking up as Carol carries him] I didn't wanna wake you up... but I really wanna show you something

Max:
Okay. [Climbs onto Carol's shoulder]

Carol:
And on our way... I can show you your kingdom. This is all yours. You're the owner of this world. Everything you see is yours. Oh, except that hole over there, that's Ira's. The tree's yours, but the hole is Ira's. But everything else is yours. Except for that rock over there, that's not yours. That little rock next to the big rock. But everything else in the kingdom... except for that stick. That little stick right there, that's not yours. I want you to be king forever, Max.

Max:
Yeah, definitely.

Max:
Yeah, it's gonna be as tall as twelve of you and six of me. And only we can get in. We can have an ice cream parlor. A swimming pool with a bottom that's a trampoline.

Judith:
Psst. Psst. [signals for Max to come over] What were you doing with Carol just now?

Max:
Just talking.

Judith:
Oh, a secret, huh? Let me ask you something. How does it work around here? Are we all the same or are some of us better than others or - ? You like to play favourites, huh, king? [Ira accidentally hurts Judith] Ow.

Max:
No, I like all you guys equally.

Judith:
Don't give me that. I can see how it is. The king has favourites. That's really cute. [Ira hurts Judith again] Ow! Stop! Do you have a favourite colour? Hey, can I be your favourite colour? [laughs] [Max imitates her laugh] [Judith does it back] [Max does it again, with more effort]

Judith:
Ahahaha.

Max:
Har har har.

Judith:
[more evilly] ahahahaha!

Max:
Har har har!

Judith:
Ahahahahaha!

Max:
HAR HAR HAR!

Judith:
You know what? You can't do that back to me. If we're upset, your job is not to get upset back at us. Our job is to be upset. If I get mad and wanna eat you, then you have to say: "Oh, okay. You can eat me. I love you. Whatever makes you happy, Judith." That's what you're supposed to do!

Judith:
You know what I say. If you got a problem, eat it.

Carol:
So, what ever happened with you and the Vikings?

Max:
Well, in the end I had to leave.

Carol:
Why?

Max:
I'm not a Viking or a king, or... or anything.

Carol:
So, what are you?

Max:
I'm Max.

Carol:
[sigh] Well, that's not very much, is it? [walks away]

Mom:
Hey. Ssh!

Max:
Mom, what is that?

Mom:
It's pâté.

Max:
Frozen corn? What's wrong with real corn?

Mom:
Frozen corn is real. All right, now get off the chair, please. Go tell your sister to clear her stuff off the table.

Max:
CLAIRE, GET YER STUFF OFF THE DINING ROOM TABLE!

Mom:
Max, don't ever pull that now.

Mom:
Um, Max? Get off the counter, please. Get off. I have a friend here. You're embarrasing me!

Max:
WOMAN, FEED ME!

Mom:
Max, get off the counter. Please get off the counter. Get off the damn counter, Max. Now! Now!

Max:
I'LL EAT YOU UP!

Mom:
GET DOWN!

Max:
GRRRRR!

Mom:
Get off from there!

[Max drags a chair to the counter. He sniffs the food in the kitchen. His mom takes the oven mitt off to tell him to be quiet.]

Mom:
Hey, shh.

[Max sits on the chair.]

Max:
Mom, what is that?

Mom:
Pâté.

[Picks up frozen corn]

Max:
Frozen corn? What's wrong with real corn?

Mom:
Frozen corn is real. All right, now get off the chair, please. And go tell your sister to clear her stuff off the table.

[Max shouts real loud]

Max:
CLAIRE, GET YOUR STUFF OFF THE DINING ROOM TABLE!

Mom:
Max, don't ever pull that now.

[Max stands on the countertop.]

Mom:
Max, get off the counter, please. Get off. I have a friend here. You're embarrassing me.

Max:
WOMAN, FEED ME!

[Mom covers her eyes and sighs in disappointment]

Mom:
Max, get off the co--get-g-get off the counter. [impatiently, in an angry tone.] Get off the damn counter, Max, now. Now!

Max:
I'LL EAT YOU UP!!

Mom:
[shouts] GET DOWN!

[Max snarls]

Mom:
Get off from there!

[Max steps off the counter and runs to the front door. Mom chases him and Adrian is on the couch, who notices.]

Mom:
Stop! Come here! [She grabs Max, who starts pounding his fists on her wrists.] What is wrong with you?! This is not acceptable behavior!

Max:
YOU'RE NOT ACCEPTABLE!!

Mom:
No dinner for you, Max! Go to your room! [Max bites her on the shoulder.] OW!!

[Mom drops Max, who falls to the floor. She holds onto her shoulder in pain.]

Mom:
Max! You bit me! THAT HURT!!

[Adrian walks up to Mom]

Adrian:
Connie, he can't treat you like that.

[Mom is embarrassingly furious.]

Mom:
Max, what is WRONG with you?! You're out of control!!

[Tearfully, Max gets up and runs out the door]

Max:
IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!!

Max:
Let the wild rumpus start!

Adrian:
Connie, you can't treated like that.

Connie:
MAX! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! You're out of control!!

Max:
IT'S NOT MY FAUUULT!!

Carol:
What?!

Douglas:
That was my favorite arm!

Max:
[64 minutes later logo. Watches Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on TV] "Pirate Radio".

Max:
Uh think Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles '87.

Max:
YOU'RE NOT ACCEPTABLE!!

Carol:
Perhaps need is 1 thing; himself.

Carol:
[off-scene; to Max and Connie] Beats me.

Douglas:
Carol! [Coral: What?!] That was my favorite arm?!

Connie:
Max, what are you Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles doing?!

Connie:
Max, don't pull that now.

Connie:
No...dinner for you, Max! Go to your room! [Max bites on the Connie's shoulder] OW!! [Connie drops Max. Adrian gasps] Max! He bit me! THAT HURTS!

Adrian:
Hey.

Adrian:
Connie, you can't treat like that.