Wild Target

Victor Maynard:
[after rescuing Rose who has been shoplifting] That was unbelievably irresponsible! Staggeringly immature!

Tony:
Staggeringly... staggering!

Rose:
Fig roll anyone? [munching]

Tony:
Tsk... tsk... tsk... [ponders] I'll have one.

Rose:
Get lost.

Tony:
Not fair! Mr Maynard!

Victor Maynard:
My name is Victor Maynard, and i am 54 years old and I work as a professional killer.

Parrot:
I love you, Mr Maynard!

Victor Maynard:
What the f***?

Tony:
[after catching a knife mid-air, in awe to Rose and Victor] Did you see that?

Rose:
See what?

Tony:
[Disappointed] Sh*t...

[repeated line]

Rose:
What do you weigh?

Mike:
Give me the gun.

Tony:
I'm serious! You know I'm a terrible shot. I could easily aim at your head and blow your balls off.

Rose:
It's like everywhere you go, there's that smell.

Victor Maynard:
What smell?

Rose:
Cleanliness. Bleach. It's like being in a hospital. It's so safe, it's dangerous. I can't breathe here. I mean it, I'm frightened. I'm frightened if I stay here much longer, I'll end up like you. Afraid of everything.

Fabian:
My name is Fabian, and I would like you to recommend to me someone who could paint something like this.

[uncovers painting]

Fabian:
Who did this?

Artist:
[surprised] Rembrandt.

Fabian:
Who?

Artist:
Rembrandt.

Fabian:
Give me his address. Now.

Artist:
He's dead.

Fabian:
Dead? When?

Artist:
300 years ago.

Victor Maynard:
Tony, come and see what happens if you don't clean your gun.

[last lines]

Tony:
Has anyone seen the cat?

Rose:
It's funny because yesterday I couldn't wait to get away and now I never want to leave.

Tony:
What happened in between?

Rose:
Just enough.

[Victor shoots and kills Barney]

Rose:
[screams]

Victor Maynard:
Get in the car.

Rose:
You killed him!

Victor Maynard:
I had to, he was going to kill you.

Rose:
Oh, okay. Get in the car!

[Ferguson is in traction]

Hector Dixon:
How is your assistant?

[He indicates Mike, who is lying in a coma next to Ferguson]

Ferguson:
They want to turn him off.

Hector Dixon:
Hmm... perhaps that would be for the best.

Ferguson:
No, he's been paid through the end of the month. And anyway, he's company.

Hector Dixon:
Where is he?

[Rose says nothing]

Hector Dixon:
Tell me... [indicates Fabian] Or I'll cut his finger off, and make you swallow it. Then I'll leave you alone with him.

Ferguson:
[wakes up in the hospital, still in traction] Morning!

[No response from Mike, who is still in his coma]

Ferguson:
Dear God, Mike... you were dull before.

[hearing a disturbance, Victor emerges from his bedroom, gun in hand]

Rose:
This hideous old bat in a wheelchair just tried to kill me! She had a knife this big, I swear!

Tony:
It was horrible!

Rose:
It's true!

[embarrassed, Victor goes to the door of Rose's bedroom]

Victor Maynard:
Mother... Mother, are you there? It's me. Mother?

[hearing nothing, he kneels down to look through the keyhole]

Victor Maynard:
[to Rose and Tony] I've got everything under control...

[a shotgun blasts a hole in the door over Victor's head. Rose screams]

Victor Maynard:
She means well. Mother, can we talk about this?

Louisa Maynard:
I'm *very* disappointed in you, Victor!