Wonder Showzen

Crazy Old Guy:
Make some TV... oh... I think they should be more detailed information about what's going on, there doesn't seem to be that and what is given doesn't allow much of choice. Same with our elections... our taxation. They cut away... the, uh, municipalities are all cutting budgets, and the taxes still remain the same. Which means that somebody's pocket is being lined. Just so many other things that I could say, the weather, the changes that have happened, that are coming about, that we don't know anything definite how we stand with our climate. We... Everthing, industry, the automobiles cost the, now the prices are the salaries of the individual. The... taxation in general. There's... the biggest problem of all is we're not earning that high income to be taxing people the way we are and then our values in terms of properties have gone to such extremes, that housing you can't afford it anymore and um... those people that do buy their housing, it's because they get a lottery chance and nothing else. Uhhh... Industry, manufacturing, the clothes we wear is not suitable to be worn. It's miserable and those that are suitable are very high priced. There's a lot of things that could be say, issues that have to be discussed, that are affecting every single of us in one way or another. The cigarettes, they're penalizing these companies, this means jobs for these people. That's another factor that'ssssss taken a high hit. Petroleum... Taxes with the oil... Gas... with the phone companies. They're really feasting on the public and we still have nothing to say. You know, we just go on paying whatever rates they want, whatever taxes they want... and mean while, we're the ones that are getting the shaft. I think in one way or another... That's it. Goodbye.

Clarence:
What are you listening to?

Lady:
[puts headphones over Clarence's ears]

Clarence:
Oh my God, it's just the sound of screaming babies!

Chauncey:
It's called tough love, you dumb slut.

Storytime Hostage:
I am stupid. I am a dummy-dum, dookie-headed poop piece. Me. The guy reading the note. I am so blooming dumb, I do not even realize that I have just been totally moted. Me hump monkey.

Chauncey:
Aw, Number Two? I thought I told you to get the hell out of here! You're more boring than my grandma's yummy junk!

Number Two:
Ah, but wait! I got something great. I got a p-p-puppet tap dance show. Check it out. Lights?

Number Two's puppet of Number Two:
Oh, I wanna be on the show!

Number Two puppet of Chauncey:
Oh but your grandma stinks, her junk stinks!

Number Two's puppet of Number Two:
Ah, but wait! I got something great. I got a p-p-puppet tap dance show. Check it out. Lights?

Number Two's puppet of Number Two's puppet of Number Two:
Oh hey, put me in the show!

Number Two's puppet of Number Two's puppet of Chauncey:
No way, your grandma's got stinky junk!

Number Two's puppet of Number Two's puppet of Number Two:
Ah but I got something great. I got a p-p-puppet dance show. Check it out. Lights?

Number Two's puppet of Number Two's puppet of Number Two's puppet of Number Two:
Ah but I got something great. I got a puppet dance show. Check it out. Lights?

Number Two's puppet of Number Two's puppet of Number Two's puppet of Chauncey:
No way, your grandma's got stinky junk!

Number Two's puppet of Number Two's puppet of Number Two's puppet of Number Two:
[argues]

Number Two's puppet of Number Two's puppet of Number Two's puppet of Chauncey:
[argues]

Chauncey:
Okay, enough, enough, Jeez! You're annoying on a molecular level!

Wonder Showzen Kid:
How do you think laughter helps us heal our sadness?

Civilian:
I think we need laughter to carry on everyday, bud. It's, uh, what makes the world go 'round!

Wonder Showzen Kid:
Uh, can you tell us a joke?

Civilian:
Knock-knock

Wonder Showzen Kid:
Who's there?

Civilian:
Boo

Wonder Showzen Kid:
Boo who?

Civilian:
Stop crying! We're suppsed to be laughing!

Wonder Showzen Kid:
I'm crying because this is the site of the greatest American tragedy on American soil.

Wordsworth:
You promise I can deliver my extended comprehensive lecture. about the significance of honesty!

Chauncey:
I did?

Wordsworth:
Yes.

Chauncey:
I lied.

Sthugar:
I made a hat that's powered by sadness.

Chauncey:
Typical.

Wonder Showzen Kid:
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Chauncey:
No. Twisted freak.

Wonder Shwozen Kid:
You're never too young to have a Vietnam flashback.

[vietnam flashback intensifies]