Wristcutters: A Love Story

Mikal:
Where are you going?

Eugene:
East-ish.

Mikal:
East-ish?

Messiah:
[dog growls] The dog has spoken.

Zia:
I'm not going out tonight. It just makes me depressed.

Eugene:
So, what you gonna do? Kill yourself?

Zia:
I was missing Desiree.

Zia:
Being here with you reminds me of what I was like before my suicide.

Mikal:
What were you like?

Zia:
I was happy...

Eugene:
I'm not sitting in the back.

Zia:
Why not?

Eugene:
Cause everybody knows guy in the back seat doesn't have a cock.

Mikal:
Are you joking? Do you guys like it here? Who the hell likes being stuck in a place where you can't even smile? It's hot as balls, everybody's an a**hole. I just wanna go home.

Yan:
They feed him t-bone steak and he refuses to come back.

Kneller:
Freddy has been brainwashed.

Zia:
[to Kneller] His headlights were broken for ages, and she fixed them just by touching a button.

Zia:
I don't know about you Eugene, but I got a cock. Do you have a cock Mik?

Mikal:
Yeah, I got a cock. A big fat one.

Eugene:
Let me put this way. Since you got here, how many times did you get laid, man?

Zia:
Why?

Eugene:
Just a question.

Zia:
Actually laid?

Eugene:
Yes.

Zia:
None, I think.

Eugene:
You think?

Zia:
None! But what's that got to do with any of this?

Eugene:
Plenty. 'Cause your sperm count is so high, you think you're having an out of body experience like nobody in the f***ing universe, man.

Zia:
Listen, you know what? Forget Desiree. I got another reason for you to go.

Eugene:
Give it shot.

Zia:
You got anything better to do?

Kneller:
Once upon a time there was a crooked tree and a straight tree. And they grew next to each other. And every day the straight tree would look at the crooked tree and he would say, "You're crooked. You've always been crooked and you'll continue to be crooked. But look at me! Look at me!" said the straight tree. He said, "I'm tall and I'm straight." And then one day the lumberjacks came into the forest and looked around, and the manager in charge said, "Cut all the straight trees." And that crooked tree is still there to this day, growing strong and growing strange.

Eugene:
Cute? That's what they say about the puppy. The only thing worse is good friend, or nice person. In plain English it means I'll leech off you as long as I can, but don't even think about getting into my pants.

Zia:
They went to the North Pole or whatever the place Nanuk is from is called. He wanted to meet her family and get into that throat singing, saw playing, weird instruments, and all that stuff. It's good that he's back into music, I think. And me? I think I finally understand what Kneller was trying to say.It only happens if it doesn't matter. It comes without effort. Maybe Eugene's right. Maybe I only get stuck on girls I don't have a chance of being with. I am glad for Mikal, though. I hope she got her visa all straightened out. I mean, she did say she'd be right back. Then again, Eugene's old wisdom is when a girl says that, she never does actually come back.

Zia:
I think she cried at my funeral, I don't mean to brag about it or anything, but I'm pretty sure she did. Sometimes I can picture her talking to some guy she feels really close to, about how they lowered me into the grave all pathetic and shriveled up like a melted chocolate bar, and how we never actually got a chance. Then the guy f***s her real nice, f*** it's all about making her feel better.

Eugene:
F*** it all.

Mikal:
Where are you going?

Eugene:
East-ish.

Mikal:
East-ish? You guys have no clue where you're going, do you?

Eugene:
Well, you haven't been here very long, right?

Mikal:
Why's that?

Eugene:
Because if anybody here had a clue they wouldn't be here in the first place.

Kneller:
[Waving a stuffed animal in front of Freddy] Come on, Freddy! Come on!

Messiah:
Don't do that.. you're confusing him.

[Freddy growls.]

Messiah:
The dog has spoken.

Zia:
I'm not going out tonight. It just makes me depressed.

Eugene:
So, what you gonna do? Kill yourself?

Zia:
I dunno.. maybe.

Eugene:
As if anything could make you happy.

Zia:
Remember the other day, when you were talkin' about missing things from life, and, uh, that you wanted to go back and I didn't miss anything?

Mikal:
Yeah?

Zia:
Being here.... with you I kinda miss myself.. the way I used to be..

Mikal:
What were you like?

Zia:
I was happy, at the time. Obviously before I came here.

Eugene:
I'm not sitting in the back.

Zia:
Why not?

Eugene:
Cause everybody knows guy in the back seat doesn't have a cock.

Zia':
[Startled] What?

Eugene:
That's a fact. If the guy in the back seat had a cock he wouldn't be there in the first place.

Zia:
Well... I mean, I got a cock, man, so.. I'm not.. Mik do you have a cock?

Mikal:
Yeah I have a cock. Big fat one.

Kneller:
T-bone steak?

Yan:
16 ounces, thick cut.

Kneller:
Dammit.

Zia:
He was floating in the air..

Kneller:
I wouldn't pay attention to what happens all the time around here.

Zia:
What happens? Miracles?

Kneller:
Yeah. People floating in the air, like, uh, people turning stones into plants, or, changing the color of different objects.

Zia:
Fixing the headlights, maybe?

Kneller:
What do you mean, fixing the headlights?

Zia:
[To Kneller] His headlights have been broken for ages, and she fixed them not far from here just by touching a button.

Kneller:
Oh. Yeah, something small and insignificant like that.