Xiaolin Showdown

Omi:
This is most embarrassing.

Omi:
Master Fung is most wise.

Jack Spicer:
You're nuts! Get off of me!

Kimiko:
Dojo! Are you alright?

Dojo:
Yeah, except for this big bump on my head.

Dojo:
[Kimiko reaches out] Don't touch it!

Kimiko:
[softly] Sorry.

Kimiko:
[after Omi runs by with a squirrel down his top] Presenting the mighty Xiaolin Dragon of Water.

Clay:
Not exactly his proudest moment, is it?

Omi:
He who is last to laughing, laughs most loudly!

Raimundo:
What Omi did to that sentence, is what we're gonna do to you!

Wuya:
Why do you build these stupid machines? They're worthless

Jack Spicer:
Mum said I need a hobby

[repeated line]

multiple:
Lets go! Xiaolin showdown!

[scenery starts to change to match the xiaolin showdown]

multiple:
Gong Yie Tem Pie!

Jack Spicer:
Why don't we have a relationship like that?

Wuya:
I'm not your mommy. Now pick up your toys, Jacky, and let's go home.

Raimundo:
No, I know pie. Pies have apple, or cherry, or rhubarb. This is no pie!

Grand Master Dashi:
Sorry, kid, but I don't have any time-traveling Shen Gong Wu.

Dojo:
Well, not anymore.

Grand Master Dashi:
We HAD one...

Dojo:
But we buried it in Egypt.

Grand Master Dashi:
Europe.

Dojo:
Egypt!

Grand Master Dashi:
No, Europe!

Dojo:
Don't you doubt me! I remember with exact percision where each and every Shen Gong Wu was hidden!

Grand Master Dashi:
Okay, whatever! Point is we don't have it now. [clamps Dojo's mouth shut] Europe.

Jack Spicer:
How many times can I say "my bad"?

Omi:
I must admit, when I realized that Jack Spicer had sent me one thousand years into the past with no way to return, I was mildly concerned.

[a flashback shows him running around in a circle and screaming]

Omi:
I soon realized that the only way to return to the future was to wait.

[Clay, Kimiko and Jack's jaws drop]

Kimiko:
You waited for a thousand years?

Omi:
Exactly.

Kimiko:
But you don't have wrinkles or liver spots, or...

Jack Spicer:
Or that old people smell.

[Kimiko smacks him]

Jack Spicer:
OW!

Omi:
[reveals that he froze himself for a thousand years] But I am still very cold.

[he shivers]

Omi:
Could somebody lend me a blanket?

Kimiko:
How about a nice warm hug instead?

[she hugs him and Omi blushes]

Jack Spicer:
[about Jack Spicer's evil time machine] I can only generate enough power to travel back two seconds.

Clay:
And why's that?

Jack Spicer:
Hmm... How to explain the intricate manufacturacies temperal distortion to a simpleton cowboy...?

Omi:
Ohh, my tounge is most tied!

Omi:
[after being sent back into the past] Now, all I have to do is return to the future!

[stops for a moment and thinks]

Omi:
Which I have no idea how to do.

Kimiko:
[in the present and so mad at Jack that fire shoots out of her eyes] What do you mean you can't get him back?

Jack Spicer:
Oops.

Raimundo:
Anything?

Wuya:
Toys, money, Canada, name it and it's yours.

Omi:
Clay's performance has me tripping on very cold stones!

Raimundo:
No, no, you're stone cold tripp... oh, forget it!

Omi:
Did I win?

Dojo:
No but you made one squirrel very happy

Omi:
[Reading about the Sapphire Dragon] One of the most dangerous Seng Gong Wu. Use only as a last resort. Can turn your enemies into a sapphire statue.

Raimundo:
[Reading over Omi's shoulder] As well as the guy next door, the old lady down the street, the kids at the playground...

Jack Spicer:
Not fair! I've been robbed... twice!

Wuya:
Forget it, Jack. What happens in Pandatown STAYS in Pandatown...

Dojo:
The Falcon's Eye allows the user to see through solid objects.

Raimundo:
Even through Clay?

Kimiko:
So why is Omi acting so silly?

Dojo:
The Ring of Nine Dragons divides you: your intelligence, creativity, potential, everything.

Kimiko:
So that would make him...

Clay:
Dumb as a sack of hammers.

Kimiko:
Are you trying to tell me you have a brain freeze?

Clay:
Thanks for that, buddy, I really... Uh, Omi, what are you doing?

Omi:
Snow angels! Hee!

Katnappe:
Eugh, I can't believe it. Deceived by a "gnome"!

Omi:
Tee hee, I did it! I am an accomplished Shaolin liar!

Dojo:
You had some day there, champ. You lied your head off, broke into a lair, cracked open a safe and... [blinks] had a girl beat up. Hmm...

Clay:
I'm sorry guys, I should've fought Jessie when I had the chance!

Raimundo:
[sarcastically] But then we'd miss our chance to suffocate in a hole together!

Jessie:
Well, it looks like our guests will stay in the hospitality room! [walks away leaving all the monks hanging upside down from the ceiling]

Omi:
Uhh, thank you! That would be most kind! Would you kindly point the way to the hospitatlity room?

Raimundo:
Omi, this *is* the hospitality room!

Omi:
Hmm... perhaps I have misunderstood the meaning of "hospitality"?

Kimiko:
More like the meaning of "sarcasm".

Kimiko:
[to Clay and Jessie] Will you two *please* stop butchering the English language!

Omi:
Raimundo, arise your shine! There is great evil!

Raimundo:
[tiredly] You sure it's great evil? 'Cause if it's just regular evil I'm sure you can handle it without me. [goes back to sleep]

Omi:
Orb of Tornami! [uses it and floods the room]

Raimundo:
I'm up, I'm up!

Raimundo:
I have a question?

Master Fung - Narrator:
Yes, Raimundo?

Raimundo:
I saw my room, and no bed! Just a mat. What the dilly? [the others stare at him with varying degrees of incredulity] Um... we can talk later.

Kimiko:
Don't mess with the monk!

Dojo:
Gong Yi Tan Pai!

Jack Spicer:
What?

Dojo:
It means: ready, set, go.

[Jack has captured Chase in the Orb of Yun]

Jack Spicer:
Ooh, I'm so scared! I wasn't good enough to work with you! But you're not in charge anymore, Mister High-And-Dragon-Mighty, are you? I'm in charge! Jack Spicer! What'd you say? Jack Spicer! That's right!

Chase Young:
[yawn] Could you keep it down? I think I'll get some sleep.