Xin qi long zhu

Son Goku:
Grandpa! Grandpa, what's up?

Son Gohan:
My boy, I don't care about my own life. But this Pearl is very important. We can't lose it!

Son Goku:
Grandpa, tell me what's going on. Why do you suddenly talk like this? I won't let anyone hurt you, and I'll safeguard the Pearl!

Son Goku:
Granddad, with this magic pole, I can protect you and the Pearl from any invaders!

Son Goku:
Grandpa, I'll let you attack me!

[Monkey Boy goes out hunting]

Son Gohan:
Hey! The day before yesterday we had a tiger, and yesterday was lion. So, my boy, what are you thinking of giving me today, then?

Son Goku:
Elephant!

Son Gohan:
Huh? That may be too tough for my teeth.

Son Goku:
Okay, how about some fish?

Son Gohan:
Fine! What kind of fish?

Son Goku:
Crocodile!

Son Goku:
[feeding monkeys] Hey, take it easy, you guys! I'll bring you bananas every day!

Son Goku:
You're different from me!

Bulma:
Of course we're different! You're a boy, and I'm a girl!

Bulma:
Do you miss your Grandad?

Son Goku:
He found me in the forest when I was just a baby. He brought me up, educated me and thought me kung-fu. And now, he's disappeared. I don't even know if he's alive. He's all I have in this whole world.

Pansy:
[to Monkey Boy] He's a monster!

Oolong:
Little boy, keep out of this! Don't you know that this girl is my bride-to-be?

Son Goku:
Bride? Hey, what's a bride-to-be?

Bulma:
You silly boy, don't you even know that?

[after getting punched by Monkey Boy]

Oolong:
It hurts, you know!... I've been king of this land for years, and nobody's ever hit me! Let me tell you, it feels like I got hit by a cow and two goats, plus three horses!... Run away! Or I'll come and eat you alive, you know! Go on, run!

Son Goku:
My Grandpa says all evil must DIE!

[after nearly getting run over by Zebrata and Maililia]

Bulma:
Hey, did you buy your license? Stupid jerks! What are they doing here, riding in funny trucks like that, and not directly as well?... They're headed in the same direction as me!

Son Goku:
Are you really a girl?

Bulma:
Have you never seen a woman before?

Son Goku:
No, but Granddad told me there are two kinds of people: one's boys, and the other are girls! So you must be the other kind of people, right?

Bulma:
Yes! A boy and girl, apart from physical differences, are basically the same.

Son Goku:
Oh, yeah, I remember he said that a girl's chest is bigger than a boy's. Hey, can I take a look?

Bulma:
Hey, you can't touch me!

Son Goku:
My grandpa said that too, he said a boy mustn't touch a girl. He said that those who do are called...

Bulma, Son Goku:
RAPISTS!

Bulma:
Hey, don't touch my Pearl!

Son Goku:
Is that Pearl yours?

Bulma:
Of course it's mine, my father gave it to me!

Son Goku:
I've got one at home too!

Bulma:
Huh? Do you really? Mine has five stars, how many stars does yours have?

Son Goku:
It's got four!

Bulma:
WOW! I FOUND IT! I FOUND IT! YAY, I FOUND IT!

Bulma:
Oh, no...

Son Goku:
Hey, what's wrong?

Bulma:
I saw a couple of trucks moving on, and those people were mean and nasty! They were headed towards your house!

Son Goku:
So what if they were going there?

Bulma:
I think those people were after your Dragon Pearl! Your granddad could be in danger!

Son Goku:
Will they kill Granddad?

Bulma:
It's possible!

Bulma:
Where's Grandpa?

Son Goku:
[crying] He's disappeared...

Son Goku:
Seetou, tell me where these people are!

Bulma:
I've never seen them before, they're all dressed in a funny way!

Son Goku:
Where do we find them?

Bulma:
Well, they came from the West, they're probably heading back there! [Monkey Boy flies off]

Bulma:
HEY!

Yamcha:
That was dirty! You fight dirty! You're no gentleman!

Turtle Man:
Oooooh, but you're a sneaky little thief! You want to steal my magic cloud! You asked for this!

Yamcha:
Someone told me your kung-fu is very nice... and he wants to challenge you! If he beats you, then he'll be famous!

Turtle Man:
So someone wants to challenge me... Who is he? Tell me, who is he?

Yamcha:
He'll be here very soon... [points at a boat carrying Monkey Boy, Seetou, Jen-Jen and Piggy]

Turtle Man:
Oh? He's coming now? Okay, I'll show him!

[Turtle Man goggles Seetou]

Turtle Man:
[drooling] Oh, my... you're beautiful... curves in the right places... what a beautiful figure! Oh, my whole body's itching, I'm itchy, well, here, and itchy there... [starts scratching himself]

Turtle Man:
I'm itching all over for you!

[Roshi summons the Nimbus]

Son Goku:
What is that?

Yamcha:
You're stupid!

Son Goku:
You know, do you?

Yamcha:
It's his magic cloud!

Turtle Man:
Right! I captured this cloud many, many centuries ago, and I imbued it with magic powers and turned it into my private car! And the magic cloud has one specialty: people who are dishonest and have an impure mind, will never be able to get on it!

Bulma:
So then, you can sit on it?

Turtle Man:
ME?... Of course I can! I'll show you now! [jumps on the Nimbus]

Turtle Man:
See that? I'm an honest man! My mind is pure too! That's why I'm able to get on this cloud! Right, go! Move it! Fly! [the Nimbus throws him off]

Turtle Man:
Goddamn you lazybones, how dare you make a fool out of me in front of a pretty girl!

Son Goku:
Hey, look here! I don't even know you! Why would I want to fight you?

Son Goku:
You lie to him, and frame me? I'll teach you!

Turtle Man:
So what do you think of my magic cloud, then?

Son Goku:
Not bad! It's obedient!

Turtle Man:
Hmmmm. But it's not obedient with me, though... You lazybones, you're no good! Ah, you're no use! I'll give you away, to HIM!

Turtle Man:
You have a Dragon Pearl?

Bulma:
Yes, I have a Five-Star Pearl!

Son Goku:
My granddad had one too, but the baddies stole it from him!

Pansy:
My home had one too, and the baddies stole it from us!

Bulma:
Now these baddies have three Pearls, and they're trying to find the other four Pearls! We heard that your kung-fu was good, and we came to ask you to help us stop the evil monsters!

Pansy:
[goes on her knees] They destroyed our village! Master, please help us stop these evil people!

Turtle Man:
Get up, there's no need for that! Don't you worry! That monster may have three Pearls, but they're no good unless you get all seven of them together, you know that? And without me, he'll never be able to achieve what he wants!

Bulma:
Why's that?

Turtle Man:
Because I have in my possession a Two-Star Dragon Pearl! Without it, how can he get what he wants, eh?

[presents it]

[Westwood tries to escape]

Turtle Man:
Westwood, without my permission, you can't leave this island no matter how hard you try!

Oolong:
Sir, I'm very good at kissing asses, you know that? I can make you feel very special!

Son Goku:
I don't like people kissing my ass.

Oolong:
That's okay, I've got other skills! And one of them is: I know magic! I can change into other things, and if you're bored, I can change into ANYTHING!

Oolong:
I just can't resist pretty girls like YOU! I just can't control myself! [chases Jen Jen and Seetou]

Oolong:
All right, I'm going now! [changes into a bat and flies off]

Son Goku:
You won't get away! [chases him]

[after running from Seetou]

Yamcha:
[to Ms Snow White] I'm tough! I'm afraid of nothing... except for women! I have a phobia about women. I'm all shaken in front of them. How can I achieve big things?

Miss Snow White:
Master, whose kung-fu is better, you or that Monkey Boy?

Yamcha:
I'm not finished with him! I'm gonna go back and find him!

Pansy:
I had a very good father and mother, and we lived in a peaceful village. But the baddies destroyed it, because of the Dragon Pearl!

Bulma:
Dragon Pearl?

Son Goku:
Bad guys? Who are these guys?

Pansy:
The leader is a terrible monster. He kept hundreds of mean cyborgs. They killed everyone in the village and then they blew up the village! My father, in order to protect the Dragon Pearl, stayed behind and was killed too. My mother went back for my father, and then she was killed! The monster took our Dragon Pearl; it turns out he also owns a Dragon Pearl. Both my parents are dead. My home is destroyed. I've been wandering on my own since then. I have nowhere to go.

Son Goku:
Seetou, could these be the same people who stole my Dragon Pearl?

Bulma:
It's got to be! So then, they took the Pearl from Jen's village, and now they've stolen Monkey Boy's Pearl too! That means they have three Dragon Pearls now! And I have one Pearl...

[Westwood hands over his Pearl]

Bulma:
A Six-Star Pearl. Oh, thank you! [Seetou kisses Westwood, who falls over in shock]

Turtle Man:
Aah, what a useless boy! Useless youngsters! I would give my life, to have a girl kiss me!

Turtle Man:
[cackles] My pretty little lady, do you want to have this Dragon Pearl? [holds out his own Pearl]

Bulma:
If you're willing to part with it, of course I'll take it!

Turtle Man:
I'm gonna let you have it, but... uh... you have to do something for it!

Bulma:
So what do you want?

Turtle Man:
I've been living on this remote island for all my life, and I've never seen a girl as pretty as you! So I... so I... well... I want... I want to see you without any clothes on!

Oolong:
How dare you, you dirty old man! How can you think of something as low as that?

Son Goku:
Master, that's too much!

Turtle Man:
Hey, kid, sex is human nature!

Oolong:
Why should he see your body, huh? You deserve to reserve it for me!

Bulma:
Hey, I've got an idea...

Bulma:
[to Piggy] You strip for him!

Oolong:
HUH? ME strip for HIM? If I took off all my clothes, he wouldn't want to look even if I paid him!

Bulma:
I mean that you change into me. Then he'll think he's looking at me, when he's actually looking at you!

Son Goku:
That's great? Did you hear that?

Oolong:
Huh? You want ME to bare all for that sex maniac?... Okay, but you gotta pay too!

Bulma:
What do YOU want?

Oolong:
Well, he'll see the top... I'll see the bottom!

Bulma:
Listen, Piggy, when you change into me, you'll be able to see the whole body.

Oolong:
Oh, yeah! How come I'm so stupid? I'll change right now!

Oolong:
[about the Turtle Man] He's a real master of magic, and his kung-fu's the best there is! But... he's a sex maniac. He's many times worse than me!

Son Goku:
Magic cloud, you can go home now! When I need you I'll call you, okay? [the Nimbus dissipates into OK letters and vanishes]

Turtle Man:
Goddamn you! Goddamn you, son of a jerkball! I've treated you for so many years! When I served you, I had to toss for hours to please you! But now you jump when he tells you to jump and fly when he tells you to fly, you jerk? Why do you treat me like this? You got that, fouled-up b*tch?

Son Goku:
Why didn't you tell us you had a Pearl?

Oolong:
My teacher told me not to tell anyone!

Turtle Man:
Where is your teacher?

Oolong:
Oh, he's very famous! Everybody knows him, including every dog, and even every cat, because...

Turtle Man:
[knocks his head] Just say it!

Oolong:
The Pig Fairy! My teacher said if I showed the Pearl, people would steal it! He said I must find you guys! That's why I used Jade to meet up with you! I think, now the time is right, so I showed the Pearl to you!

[Piggy bumps his head]

Son Goku:
You're dumb, just like a pig!

King Horn:
Give me the Pearl if you wish to stay alive!

Turtle Man:
Come and get it, if you can!

King Horn:
[having Sparkle as a hostage] Stay where you are! Come any closer and he dies!

Son Goku:
Master, I'm begging you, please help my grandpa!

King Horn:
Give me the Pearl, or I'll kill him!

Son Gohan:
Don't give it to him, if you do we all die! Go!

Son Goku:
Master, please give him the Pearl, or he'll kill Grandpa! Please!

Turtle Man:
But your grandpa's right, if I give him the Dragon Pearl we'll all die anyway!

King Horn:
So, you want to keep the Dragon Pearl? Then he dies! [kicks Sparkle]

Son Gohan:
[about King Horn's Dragon Pearls] I suspect they're inside his stomach...

Turtle Man:
Hmm...

Son Gohan:
Turtle Man, are you thinking of getting that Dragon Pearl inside his stomach, too?

Turtle Man:
Right! When the seven Pearls mix, he'll explode!

Son Goku:
Jade, make your wish now!

Pansy:
Dragon, I want my home and my village restored, no more monsters, and to bring back peace to us!

Shenron:
I see. Your wish is granted!

[first lines]

[a village meeting starts]

Monk:
This Dragon Pearl is a treasure in our village. It has been with us for over one hundred years now. It was watched over us, and brought us peace and prosperity. And right now, I am going to hand it over to our new village chief!

Jen-Jen's father:
Who are you?

King Horn:
I'm King Horn! I want the Dragon Pearl!

Jen-Jen's father:
The Dragon Pearl belongs to us, you can't have it!

King Horn:
[laughs] I always get what I want! Nobody has been able to stop me!

King Horn:
Altogether, there are only seven Dragon Pearls... and now I already possess two of them! Now, when I finally get all of the seven Pearls together, a light will explode right in the middle of Heaven. Then the magic dragon will appear, and when that happens, the whole of the heavens and even the whole universe will be under my control!

Malilia:
My lord, so where are the other five Pearls?

King Horn:
I don't know exactly where they are, but we'll find them. One thing I do know is that one of them may well be in the East. I have heard that deep inside a forest there lives a man by the name of Sparkle. Rumor has it that he possesses a four-star Dragon Pearl. Maililia, Zebrata! I want you to go get that Pearl for me!

Miss Snow White:
[copying Seetou's voice] Westwood, can I become your friend? Can I?

Yamcha:
That girl! That girl! Where, where is she?... I see. It was you, wasn't it? Come here!

Son Gohan:
The Dragon Pearl and the magic pole are precious family treasures! We can't let them be stolen from us!

[sparring]

Son Gohan:
Let it go! You've lost!

Son Goku:
Forget it! I haven't lost yet!

Son Gohan:
You haven't lost yet? So you want more!

Son Gohan:
[after an attack from Maililia] Wow, that blondie is fierce!

[Monkey Boy and Seetou ride an elephant]

Bulma:
[to Monkey Boy] You know, you're clever. If you hadn't gotten me these wheels, we wouldn't have come this far!

Bulma:
You haven't eaten anything. Come, have some beef jerky! It's very tasty... How do you make this beef jerky?

Son Goku:
This is not beef!

Bulma:
Oh? Then what is it?

Son Goku:
It's pepper-minted gecko! [Seetou screams]

Oolong:
[chasing Jen-Jen] You're a pretty girl. I want you to be my wife!

Pansy:
I don't want to marry you, you're too ugly! Anyway I'm too young to be married!

Oolong:
Never mind! I'll keep you till you grow up! When you're grown up, then you can marry me!

Pansy:
No! Get away from me!

Oolong:
Either you'll marry me, or I'll eat you up!

Son Goku:
Oh, now you've changed into a fatty!

Oolong:
This is my original form! I'm the 91st descendant of the Pig Fairy, sir! They call me the Pig-Headed Wizard!

Son Goku:
The Pig Fairy? Well, I'm the 91st descendant of the Monkey King!

Oolong:
Oh, so that explains the pole... your ancestor and my ancestor were brothers, so that makes US brothers!

[a shadowy form flaps around]

Son Goku:
What's that?

Oolong:
[looks around] What am I doing HERE? Brother, let's go! Hurry!

[Monkey Boy and Piggy are shot at by a stranger]

Son Goku:
Who are you?

Miss Snow White:
This is my master Mr Westwood! And me, I'm Miss Snow White!

Oolong:
[to Monkey Boy] He's the bandit of the West! His kung-fu's good, and this is his territory! He'll kill you, unless he takes all your money!

Yamcha:
I'm glad you know. So leave your valuables! Then I'll spare your lives!

Oolong:
Oh, no... You got money?

Son Goku:
What's money?

Oolong:
Oh God... Hey, your kung-fu's good. So you can beat him?

Son Goku:
Of course I can!

Oolong:
[to Westwood] We got money, but you can't have it, so there!

Yamcha:
Then I'll send you to hell! [starts shooting]

Bulma:
Monkey Boy, who is this?

Son Goku:
This is Westwood!

Bulma:
Wow, he's so good-looking! [Westwood backs away fearfully]

Son Goku:
What? You call THAT good-looking?... How about this! [knocks out Westwood with one punch]

Bulma:
What did you do that for?

Bulma:
Westwood, can I become your friend? [Westwood screams and scrams]

Miss Snow White:
What's wrong with him?

Bulma:
This is the first time I've seen a man who's so excited about me!

Miss Snow White:
[flies after Westwood] Master, wait! Wait!

Bulma:
Monkey Boy, there are seven Pearls!

Son Goku:
Seven?

Bulma:
Didn't you know that?

Son Goku:
No, I didn't. Grandpa said I must protect it. He never mentioned to me there were seven Pearls.

Bulma:
There are seven altogether, and there's a secret about them! It's said when the seven Pearls are put together, the sky will open up and a huge dragon will appear. When you see him, you can make a wish, and ask for anything!

Son Goku:
Is that true?

Pansy:
I've heard that before! That must be the reason that evil monster steals the Pearls!

Bulma:
That must be it! That evil monster... we must try and stop him! He can't succeed!

Pansy:
But that monster is too powerful for us! We'll need to get us some help! My mother told me to go to the Turtle Man! Only he can kill the monster!

[At a hidden spot, Westwood digs up a Dragon Pearl]

Yamcha:
I got this a long time ago. I never knew it was so powerful. I'll get all seven of them, and make a wish!

Miss Snow White:
Master, do you want to rule the seven seas and be king of the world?

Yamcha:
I'm not interested in that! I don't want to be a king!

Miss Snow White:
Then you can make a wish to the dragon, and ask him to give you all the money in the world! Then you can be the richest man!

Yamcha:
I don't need money, and I don't want fame and I don't want fortune! I want the dragon to give me courage, so I don't shiver in front of women. I don't want fear.

Miss Snow White:
I don't understand that.

Turtle Man:
Magic cloud! [the Nimbus appears in the sky and Roshi leaps on it]

Turtle Man:
[jumps on the cloud] Magic cloud, now I order you to take me to the four corners of the world and find me pretty girls! Hah! Come on!... Hey, lazybones, don't wanna move, do ya? GO! [the Nimbus takes off... sweeping the Turtle Man out from under it]

Turtle Man:
You idiot! I'll get you for this!

Turtle Man:
But then, why'd Westwood tell me one of you wanted to fight me?

Son Goku, Bulma, Oolong, Pansy:
WESTWOOD?

Oolong:
[seeing Turtle Man dance] He must have magic in those shorts!

[Piggy disguises himself as Seetou]

Oolong:
Darling...

Turtle Man:
So, have you made a decision yet?

Oolong:
[seductively] Oh, yes I have...

Turtle Man:
Oh...?

Oolong:
Come here! [Roshi lets out a whoop and starts to dance with Seetou]

[dazed after seeing Seetou topless]

Turtle Man:
She's so sexy... she's just incredible... I've never been so crazy about a girl... she's wonderful! I've finally really lived!

[an attack from Zebrata obliterates Roshi's home]

Turtle Man:
JESUS! How dare you blow up my house like that!

[a turtle shell is seen floating on the water]

Pansy:
Master!

Bulma:
Master!

Oolong:
Master, you're still alive!

Turtle Man:
[wading out of the ocean, half-naked] Are you kidding? Nobody can get rid of ME that easily!... But still, my house is destroyed, and my Dragon Pearl stolen! These people will not get away with this!

Son Goku:
Westwood, why are you following us?

Yamcha:
Don't forget, one of those Dragon Pearls you lost belonged to me in the first place. I have a right to look for it too, you know!

Turtle Man:
Good! You're welcome to join our group!

Turtle Man:
So, then, every one of us here all have a relationship with a Dragon Pearl, is that right? [everyone agrees]

Son Goku:
[to Piggy] Hey, you don't!

Oolong:
Uh... you're right! I don't have a Dragon Pearl, I've no relationship with it...

Turtle Man:
Now we own the last Pearl that monster needs... let's go get him!

Turtle Man:
Turtle shot!

Son Goku:
I'LL KILL HIM!

Shenron:
You are all only granted one wish, so what do you wish for? You must tell me now!

[last lines]

Yamcha:
I have a wish...

Son Goku:
Yes, what is it?

Yamcha:
I want to challenge you to a fight!

Son Goku:
Well, your wish is granted! [they charge at each other]

Miss Snow White:
Go for it, Monkey Boy! Go for it, Westwood!