Zazie dans le métro

Zazie:
What's a hormosessual?

Albertine:
A man who wears blue jeans.

Zazie:
You're spoofing me.

Zazie:
Are you a homosessual?

Charles:
I look like a fruit?

Zazie:
No, you're the driver.

Charles:
You see?

Zazie:
See what? So why aren't you married?

Charles:
Can't find my dream girl.

Zazie:
You're a snob.

Mado:
Something wrong, Mr. Gabriel?

Uncle Gabriel:
I have stage fright.

Stagehand:
Gabriel, you're on!

Zazie:
[to Albertine from departing train] Goodbye, sir.

Zazie:
[in a Paris flea market]... they got American military surpluses, too?

Trouscaillon:
Of course! And great French fries, made right that afternoon.

Zazie:
I'll take the American military surpluses.

Trouscaillon:
They got mussels, too. That don't screw you all up.

Zazie:
They got those American blue jeans?

Trouscaillon:
Of course! And their compasses too, and that's not all...

Zazie:
F*** all that, I just want the blue jeans.

Madame Mouaque:
[very drunk, to Gredoux] People are mostly c*nts. You too, c*nt.

Ferdinand Gr?doux:
You hear this...

Madame Mouaque, Ferdinand Gr?doux:
[increasingly absurd fisticuffs ensue throughout bar as Zazie is passed out]

Zazie:
I'm waiting for the others to go see Uncle dance.

Madame Mouaque:
That elephant dances?

Zazie:
In a tutu, too!

Trouscaillon:
[acting sadly in front of crowd] I... was orphaned... in the Resistance.

[last lines]

Zazie:
I grew up some.

Zazie:
When Mom's got a new squeeze, it's so long, family!

Zazie:
We taking the metro, Unc?

Zazie:
When's the strike over?

Uncle Gabriel:
Dunno. I don't do politics.

Charles:
It ain't politics. It's about bucks.

Zazie:
Mister, you ever go on strike?

Charles:
Gotta, to get fares hiked.

Zazie:
[Referring to Charlie's taxi] You oughta pay people to ride in this stinking crate!

Zazie:
Say, Unc, when you guys spout crap, you do it on purpose?

Zazie:
Bull. You never tell the truth.

Uncle Gabriel:
The truth? As if you knew what truth was. As if anybody knew. It's all a lot of hooey.

Uncle Gabriel:
In 20 years, there won't be teachers anymore. They'll all be replaced by movies, TV, electronics, stuff like that. That was in the paper the other day too.

Albertine:
Gabriel, Gabriel, you forgot your lipstick.

Zazie:
What a swell town!

Uncle Gabriel:
[Looking at the Eiffel Tower] I wonder why Paris is always pictured as a dame.

Uncle Gabriel:
Paris will always be Paris! Isn't it gorgeous, Zazie! The Pantheon. The Invalides. The cabaret. The metro.

Uncle Gabriel:
I got a confession stuck in my craw. I can't hold it in no more! I'll say nothing of my youth. Of my upbringing, I had none. Of my education, there's little to tell. On this score, there's no more to say. Now I come to my military service on which I won't dwell. A bachelor early on, life made me what I am. Rise, descend, descend, rise, come, go - so does Man until he finally vanishes. A taxi bringeth him. An elevator taketh him away. Neither the Tower nor the Pantheon take any note. All Paris is a dream. Zazie is a reverie. All this is a reverie within a dream. A reverie within a dream.

Zazie:
What makes him a homosessual? 'Cause he wears perfume?

Charles:
You got it.

Zazie:
That's no crime.

Charles:
Of course not.

Uncle Gabriel:
And over there, way out yonder, the cemetery is piled high with former Parisians... who went up and down countless steps, to and fro along endless streets, until in the end they went and were no more. Pleasure bringeth them, a hearse taketh them away. Meanwhile, the Tower rusts, the Pantheon cracks, quicker than their bones rot... and melt away in the humus of the woeful metropolis. But I... I am alive! And there my knowledge ceases. Of the cabbie and my niece, 1,000 feet up in the air, and of my sweet spouse, Albertine, back at the hearth, at this precise moment, I know only this: that they are almost dead since they are not here. Created in a flash... animated in a splash... negated in a dash.

Zazie:
You must be repressed. Wait for me. Tell me about your hang-ups. You scared of women?

Charles:
There she goes again! Sexuality all over the place, all the time! Excrementation! Putrefaction! All dames have one-track minds!

Charles:
Gabriel? Mado Pettifoot and me just got engaged. Yep, we're marrying. It won't change nothing, except when we bang away, it'll be legal.

Uncle Gabriel:
We gotta celebrate. Come to the club tonight to see my new number. Tell Albertine to hurry with my dress.

Albertine:
For an engagement, a medium white is indispensable, with a touch of virginal silver.

Mado:
I'll skip the virginal part.

Mado:
I think you're so beautiful.

Albertine:
Do you?

Mado:
Oh, I do! I really do! I think you're swell-looking. You're so well-stacked and so elegant, on top of it.

Albertine:
Don't let's exaggerate.

Mado:
Oh, but you are! You're real swell. Why don't we see more of you? I'd like to see more of you.

Uncle Gabriel:
I've tried dream analysis.

Charles:
What do you dream of?

Uncle Gabriel:
Wet nurses.

Uncle Gabriel:
Okay, so I dance in drag in a nightclub. That means nothing. Strictly for laughs. With my build, you see...