Zerophilia

Keenan:
You're gonna' have a great time with her tonight. Just be yourself... mostly.

Sydney:
That's the thing about the truth. It'll set you free, but first it'll really piss you off!

Luke:
Sorry lady, but you're just bizarre.

Sydney:
May be. But one thing I learned long ago: you can't change your true nature, even if it can change you.

Keenan:
You mean, you're gonna' try to keep yourself from getting turned on?

Luke:
Yeah.

Keenan:
C'mon, Luke, you get turned on by two scoops of ice cream.

Michelle:
Are you asking me out?

Luke:
I'll-I'll just sit there, I won't talk

Luke:
I make out with a girl, I start turnin' into one. You gotta admit that's a little weird.

Luke:
She's smart, funny, the way she eats ravioli with a spoon, you're like "aaahh!"

Luke:
Keenan c'mere! Quick!

Keenan:
What?

Luke:
[looking at self in mirror] Well I HAD hair, man!

Luca:
[Keenan has just suggested that Luca ask Michelle whether she would consider a relationship with a zerophiliac] No way I'm gonna ask her that!

Keenan:
Well you have to! Come on, where are your nads man?

Keenan:
[the two exchange a look] We'll get 'em back.

Keenan:
[Keenan has just suggested that Luca ask Michelle whether she would consider a relationship with a zerophiliac] No way I'm gonna ask her that!

Luca:
Well you have to! Come on, where are your nads man? [the two exchange a look] We'll get 'em back.