George Carlin: Complaints & Grievances2001

[applause]

George Carlin:
The kind of fart whereby the Centers for Disease Control declares your pants a level five biohazard.

[laughter]

George Carlin:
Now, that takes care of overseas. All right. Now, that's overseas. On the domestic side, in this country, and before I tell you my plan for the domestic side, I want to, uh, because it does come from a kind of New York frame of mind, I want to mention my New York credentials, and they are as follows: I was born on this island, Manhattan island, therefore I was born in New York City, New York County, and New York State.

[applause]

George Carlin:
City, county, and state. And besides that, and on top of that, I was born at New York Hospital on East 63rd Street. But here's the capper, something you don't know. You know where I was conceived? Rockaway Beach.

[laughter and applause]

George Carlin:
Rockaway. That's right. In a hotel on Beach 116th Street called Curley's Hotel. 1936, so if you hear or see anything later on about New York, you'll know my credentials are in good order. Here's what you do domestically. You take Don Imus' advice, and you tell this Tommy Thompson and Tom Ridge "good try, nice going, we'll see you later." And in charge of the whole domestic thing, you put Rudolph Giuliani, an Italian from Brooklyn.

[cheers and applause]

George Carlin:
Okay?