Hogfather2006

[first lines]

Narrator:
Everything starts somewhere, although many physicists disagree. There is the constant desire to find out where - where is the point where it all began. But much, much later than that, the Discworld was formed. Drifting onwards through space, atop four elephants on the shell of a giant turtle, the Great A'Tuin. It was some time after its creation when most people forgot that the very oldest stories of the beginning are, sooner or later, about blood. At least, that's one theory. The philosopher Didactylos suggested an alternative hypothesis: "Things just happen. What the hell." And so our story begins in Ankh-Morpork, the twin city of proud Ankh and pestilent Morpork, the biggest city in Discworld. A city where magic is just another job, and where the Tower of Art of the Unseen University for Wizards looms over all the dark narrow streets... Our story begins on a midwinter festival bearing a remarkable similarity to your Christmas. And so... it was the night before Hogswatch.