How to Murder Your Wife

How to Murder Your Wife1965

Stars: Jack Lemmon, Virna Lisi, Terry-Thomas, Eddie Mayehoff
Genre: Comedy
Rating: APPROVED
Runtime: 118 minutes

How to Murder Your Wife is a 1965 American battle-of-the-sexes satirical comedy film from United Artists, produced by George Axelrod, directed by Richard Quine, that stars Jack Lemmon, Virna Lisi, and Terry-Thomas. Director Quine also directed Lemmo… more »



Stanley Ford:
Gentlemen... [looks at Harold Lampson, who gives him a wink and a grin; turns back to jury] Gentlemen, I address you not as judge and jury, but as a fellow American male. The crime that you have just seen Harold Lampson commit in his imagination I have been accused of committing in reality. Too long has the American man allowed himself to be bullied, coddled, and mothered, and tyrannized, and in general meant to feel like a feeble-minded idiot by the female of the species. Do you realize the power that you have in your hand here today? If one man - just one man - can stick his wife in the goop from the gloppitta-gloppitta machine, and get away with it! Whoa-ho-ho, boy, we've got it made. We have got it made. All of us.

Charles Firbank:
Hear! Hear!

Stanley Ford:
Gentlemen, I did it. [crowd murmurs] I killed her. I murdered my wife. [judge bangs gavel] Every single charge that the district attorney has leveled against me is true. Indeed, I did slip her a Mickey - brrrup-brrrap! [smacks rail] I cold-bloodedly then fed her into a tomb of goop from the gloppitta-gloppitta machine! I ask you to acquit me! Acquit me on the grounds of justifiable homicide. And not for my sake... for yours.

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    "How to Murder Your Wife Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 Nov. 2024. <https://www.quotes.net/mquote/1018483>.

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