Interstate 60: Episodes of the Road2002

Valerie McCabe:
Valerie McCabe, Yale '91. I've got a special rate for visitors, and I know I can win your case.

Neal Oliver:
You don't even know my case.

Valerie McCabe:
The Madison case? Nuisance suit. Happens to visitors all the time. Fact is J.J. Madison doesn't even have a cat. He's allergic. I could have it thrown out in no time.

Neal Oliver:
Wait, he never had a cat? So, why's he going to sue somebody for it?

Valerie McCabe:
Because he can.

Neal Oliver:
What?

Valerie McCabe:
Every adult citizen of Morlaw is a lawyer, so everybody sues everybody else. It doesn't matter if there's a cause. It's how we ensure that everyone makes a living off their profession.

Neal Oliver:
Yeah, but that's insane.

Valerie McCabe:
I could sue you for that. You just made a defamatory remark about this town. Hey, are you looking at my legs? I could sue you for that too, sexual harassment.

Neal Oliver:
Is there anything you can't sue me for?

Valerie McCabe:
Hire me. That way, everything between us is subject to attorney-client privilege. I'm $75 an hour. First hour is free.

Neal Oliver:
Well, at least you know my case. All right, you're hired.