Justice League: Doom2012

Alfred Pennyworth:
Late night playing cards, Master Bruce?

Batman:
Something like that. How did you know?

Alfred Pennyworth:
[picks out a card from the driver seat] I believe tradition for hiding these up one's sleeve.

Batman:
Was that sarcasm, Alfred?

Alfred Pennyworth:
Mild teasing, at best. I'm being uncharacteristically gentle with you mainly because you're bleeding all over my nice clean floor.

Batman:
Not going to let me go to work.

Alfred Pennyworth:
That is correct, Master Bruce. Not until you've had proper medical attention...

Batman:
Fine.

Alfred Pennyworth:
...food, and a minimum of eight hours' bed rest.

Batman:
Let's get this over with.

Alfred Pennyworth:
I made chicken soup. You can eat while you brood and I'll put in your stitches myself. It will be delightful, I'm sure.

Batman:
All right.

Alfred Pennyworth:
By the way, the part about the stitches? That would be sarcasm.