Kick-Ass 22013

Colonel Stars and Stripes:
[to Eisenhower] You have to stay in there till you calm down, you lunatic. Wonder what's bothering you.

Mother Russia:
I know. Tonight you die.

Colonel Stars and Stripes:
[draws gun] Ladies first.

Mother Russia:
You will not shoot me. You are super hero. You help people. You do not hurt them.

Chris D'Amico:
That's super villain territory or as I like to call my little gang, The Toxic Mega-C*nts.

The Tumor:
[waves] Hi.

Colonel Stars and Stripes:
[takes gun; clicks, Mother Russia realizes it's empty] Yeah, just like your head.

Genghis Carnage:
[Mother Russia overpowers Colonel, pulls out a machete and stabs him] Yeah!

The Tumor:
Ooh, that's gotta hurt.

[Mother Russia uses Colonel's coat to wipe his blood off her blade]

Chris D'Amico:
I did my homework on you, Colonel. You used to be Sal Bertolinni, didn't you? Did a few jobs for my dad back in the day before you got born-again?

Colonel Stars and Stripes:
[dying] I used to hangout with a lot of losers.

Chris D'Amico:
Is this how you thought you would die, Sal? Dressed like an idiot?

Colonel Stars and Stripes:
Who are you supposed to be?

Chris D'Amico:
I'm the Mother F***er! And I'm here to end Kick-Ass. Not just kill him. I am going to sh*t on everything that he loved. Let's trash this place guys. [picks up mail statement] Miranda Swedlow. Who's that, Sal? She one of the whores on your team? [googles her name and matches her with her face on the poster] Night B*tch. All snuggled up to Kick-Ass. Looks like our boy's got a new hot pocket.

Mother Russia:
Want me to kill his dog?

Chris D'Amico:
The dog, Jesus Christ, I'm not that evil. Cut the old man's head off. You guys hungry? I'm starving. Let's go get some pizza.

Mother Russia:
Don't worry, I kill you first.

[wraps legs around Colonel's neck]

Colonel Stars and Stripes:
Justice Forever...

[snaps neck; dies]