Lewis Black: Old Yeller - Live at the Borgata2013

Lewis Black:
I've got two friends. They live in North Carolina and they teach. Full-time jobs. Full-time f***ing jobs. Friday comes, they get in the car with the four kids and drive them two, three hundred miles to stay in Motel What-the-f***, okay? A place where you can get cramps and typhus and God knows what else. And why do they do that? So that they can wake up Saturday morning for THE SOCCER F***ING TOURNAMENT! ARE YOU SHITTING ME? Eight-year-olds, ten-year-olds, twelve-year-olds playing soccer? Goddamn it! I would rather take a fork and scratch my eye! What a fun thing, huh? Hours of that sh*t! "Get up, Johnny, you f***, get up!" Then if they win, they gotta stay around Sunday! Somebody shitting me? And then they drive home and they drive back to work!