Little Red Riding Hood1988

Wolf:
My, my, my, what a lovely little cottage you have here.

Granny:
Oh, thank you, thank you. Why don't you go sit down and have some nice hot tea, just brewed.

Wolf:
Why, thank you. Perhaps you've heard of me, I'm a friend of your granddaughter, Red Riding Hood.

Granny:
Oh, Red, that dear sweet little girl. Ya know, she's always bringing me wildflowers and cakes and candies and pies and things, but between you and me, I was hoping that she'd spend a little bit more time finding herself a nice handsome strong husband. Someone not unlike yourself. A brawny guy.

Wolf:
Well, perhaps you could put in a good word for me.

Granny:
Perhaps I could. [hands him a mug] By the way, what was your name?

Wolf:
Oh... [Granny pours the tea past his mug into Wolf's lap] Jesus f***ing Christ!

Granny:
Oh, you don't have to shout, Mr. F***ingchrist, there's nothing wrong with my hearing. It's my eyesight that's off just a little.