Love Is Evol2009

Christopher Titus:
I'd go to the mall, and I'd have to stop before we go in and get ready. I'd be in the parking lot like "Okay..."

[pantomimes stretching before an exercise workout]

Christopher Titus:
I had to loosen up, 'cause I knew I'd have to lock my neck for the next three hours. 'Cause she was like a cobra. If I moved my head, "What are you looking at? What are you looking at?"

[hisses]

Christopher Titus:
So I would walk through the mall like this.

[pantomimes walking with his neck stiffly straight]

Christopher Titus:
And god forbid somebody hot walked into my vision, 'cause then I was screwed. "Oh god, she's hot! Look over here! AHHH! The girl at the Cinnabon, she's kind of hot! Look over here! AHHH! It's a hot mannequin wearing a bikini! Turn around! It's a UPS guy wearing shorts! Look at the ground! It's a passed out transvestite in high heels! Gouge your eyes out! Gouge your eyes out! Gouge your eyes out!"