Love Is Evol2009

Christopher Titus:
[about the 'Armageddon fight' with his wife] And here's the situation: she's 5'2", I'm 6' 2", I outweigh her by double, and I trained in martial arts for a long time. So my first thought was "Wow, I'm in 'Lord of the Rings' fighting a Hobbit."

[laughter]

Christopher Titus:
So I took the knife away, I put it on the ground, and I said "Listen! We need to talk!"

[his inner retard]

Christopher Titus:
"Yeah, which is the perfect response to somebody pulling a knife on you. You're gonna be very helpful in the alley, Captain Negotiation."

[laughter]