Love Is Evol2009

Christopher Titus:
[recounting his crazy ex-girlfriends] Another girl randomly punched me. She would just punch me. Like, if we got in a little argument, her response was POW!

[laughter]

Christopher Titus:
By any measure of the Geneva Convention, the crap this chick did to me, she should be up on war crimes at GiMo *right now*.

[laughter]

Christopher Titus:
But by the end of the argument, she would do something heinous, and then we'd argue, and then I would apologize to her.

[laughter]

Christopher Titus:
And it started to feel weird. And I started talking to my friends. "Hey, guys, here's what happened. Like, I woke up at three o'clock last night, and she was sitting on me just popping me in the temple, right? So we talked about it, and then today I went out and got her flowers."

[laughter]

Christopher Titus:
And my friends would always say something like "Dude, could you call my voicemail and say that exact thing so I can PLAY IT BACK FOR YOU?"