Machete Kills2013

Mr. President:
Machete, what's this I hear about you having Mendez in custody?

Machete:
Things got complicated.

Mr. President:
No sh*t! You were supposed to take him out, not give him a joyride on the Good Ship Lollypop! Damn it, I didn't recruit you for your sense of compassion. Machete kills. That's what he does! He doesn't save the bad guys! Now shoot that motherf***er!

Machete:
If he dies, you die. The missile is wired to his heart.

Mr. President:
Come again?

Miss San Antonio:
Machete, can it be disarmed?

Machete:
Only where it was made. VozTech.

Mr. President:
VozTech is the biggest weapons supplier to our military! You want to bring him all the way back to the f***ing manufacturer?

Machete:
I need your help getting him across the border. This is a part of something big. I can feel it.

Mr. President:
Last time I sent a black op team into Mexico, they got dead and I got the Oval ass-f***.