Mass Effect 22010

[Blind date between a turian and a quarian]

Quarian:
So then he says, "Oh, it's okay. Our amino acids are all different, so it's not like we can get diseases or anything if we go natural."

Turian:
I'm telling you, this is why you shouldn't date humans.

Quarian:
So then I had to explain about cross-species fluid contact. Completely killed the mood.

Turian:
Not to mention that you're a quarian. How could he be so insensitive? You deserve somebody who's going to respect you. Somebody who's going to treat you right.

Quarian:
Oh, I think I'm just going to stop dating for a while.

Turian:
No! Don't do that. Don't let some human spoil you.

Quarian:
It's always the same thing. "Ooh, she could get sick. Ooh, she's vulnerable. I wonder what she looks like under the helmet."

Turian:
You'll find someone out there who cares about you for who you are. Someone whose food you can eat, even. If you're hurting for something to do, maybe after work we could catch a vid or something?

Quarian:
Oh, that's sweet, but a little dry spell isn't going to kill me.

Turian:
We could watch 'Fleet and Flotilla', it got awards for its portrayal of, um, turian and quarian relationships.

Quarian:
Anyway, if worst comes to worst, I did have the nerve-stimulation program built into my suit.

Turian:
And I hear that the loves scenes are... what?

Quarian:
Oh yeah. Standard equipment for any responsible adult. Here, let me fire it up... uhh, excuse me human? Private con-ver-say-ti-onn? Ugh.

Turian:
A little space, please?