Mass Effect 32012

Garrus Vakarian:
All right my turn. What's the first order an Alliance Commander gives at the start of combat?

Jeff 'Joker' Moreau:
Uh, I give up.

Garrus Vakarian:
Correct!

Jeff 'Joker' Moreau:
All right big guy. What do you call it when a turian gets killed by a horrible spiky monster.

Garrus Vakarian:
Friendly fire. Come on that one goes back to Shan-Xi.

Jeff 'Joker' Moreau:
Gotta respect the classics.

Garrus Vakarian:
How many humans does it to activate a dormant relay?

Jeff 'Joker' Moreau:
602, 600 to vote on it, one to ask the Asari for technical help and one to ask for a seat on the counsel afterwards. How do you know when a turian is out of ammo?

Garrus Vakarian:
He switches to the stick up his ass as a backup weapon. Why does the Alliance hire pilots with brittle bone disease?

Jeff 'Joker' Moreau:
You're shitting me! The turian military has one about me?

Garrus Vakarian:
Oh, absolutely. I heard it myself from a private back on Palaven.

Jeff 'Joker' Moreau:
All right why does the Alliance hire pilots with brittle bone disease?

Garrus Vakarian:
So their marines can beat someone in hand-to-hand drills.

Jeff 'Joker' Moreau:
Damn, you need to tell James that one. Hey what's the hardest part about treating a turian who took a rocket to one side of his face?

Garrus Vakarian:
Figuring out which side took the hit!