Mississippi1935

Commodore Jackson:
My last encounter with the redskins was over thirty-five years ago. I was a mere stripling.

Skeptical Passenger in pilot house:
Is that so? [skeptically]

Commodore Jackson:
I whipped out my revolver...

Skeptical Passenger in pilot house:
Revolvers weren't invented thirty-five years ago. [sneering]

Commodore Jackson:
Uh... uh... I know that, but the Indians didn't know it. It doesn't matter - I threw it away.

Female passenger:
Oh, how exciting - please don't interrupt.

Commodore Jackson:
I had just swum the rapids. I had my canoe under one arm and a Rocky Mountain goat under the other.

Skeptical Passenger in pilot house:
How could you swim without the use of your arms?

Commodore Jackson:
Uh, uh... in those days I had, uh, I had very strong legs. Uh, excuse me [sheepishly doffs hat to woman] , very strong limbs.

Female passenger:
You must have been full of fire in your youth.

Commodore Jackson:
I had to carry fire insurance until I was over forty. As I arrived at the river bank, I was encountered by the entire tribe of the Shug Indians. The most ferocious... have you ever been to Shug country?

Skeptical Passenger in pilot house:
No, I haven't. [glaring at the Commodore]

Commodore Jackson:
Uh, that's fine. I unsheathed my Bowie knife and [slowly and dramatically] cut a path through this wall of human flesh, dragging my canoe behind me.

Female passenger:
[collapsing] Oh, oh, oh... oh.

Commodore Jackson:
Ah, I'm sorry. Perhaps I've gone too far.

Skeptical Passenger in pilot house:
What, what happened to the goat? [no trace of skepticism]

Commodore Jackson:
He was very good with mustard.