Monsturd2003

Deputy Dan:
[talking through a megaphone while Deputy Rick drives through the town] Citizens of Butte County: Due to the possible presence of a deadly parasite in the city sewer system, we ask that everyone refrain from using their toilets. The parasite enters the body through the rectum and can cause nausea, dizziness and possible death through prolonged exposure. We are currently taking steps to contain the parasite, and apologize for any inconvenience. If you must relieve yourself, please find an alternate source of disposal. Perhaps you could try crapping in a bucket and dumping it out the front window, like they did in the Middle Ages. Or the ever popular standard of shitting or just wetting your pants. The world's your oyster on this one, folks. You have to listen to everything I say, because I am a cop and I have a megaphone. Now listen carefully: the Martians are coming this way, in the event of a blast, cover yourself with wet newspaper until the blast has subsided. If you have a heart condition, or a young or impressionable child, we must insist that you refrain from seeing "Blood Feast". Is it me or is everybody in this town either ugly or retarded? [singing] First you take a dump in your pants, then you do the "Sh*t Your Pants Dance" round and round and round you will prance, when you do the "Sh*t Your Pants Dance"... hello everybody!