Multiplayer2009

Alec:
I'm serious. Everybody loves pizza. It's like the one thing that could possibly unite mankind. It's easy to make, you can customise it, it's fun to eat, fun to share.

Mike:
You can get one to your house quicker than an ambulance. Try calling 999 and saying "I need me some cheese" - see how far that gets you.

Alec:
Exactly. It's one of the few perfect things on Earth, like 'Calvin & Hobbes' or 'The Shawshank Redemption' or 'Stairway to Heaven'.

Peter:
Yeah, but what about people who can't have pizza? Like people who are lactose intolerant - they can't eat cheese.

Mike:
Why you gotta bring up the poor, unfortunate minorities?

Alec:
No, he's right. I mean, I feel sorry for them too. In some ways I feel more sorry for people who are lactose intolerant than people who are diabetic. I mean, they can never have proper milk on their cereal - that's just a travesty - and they can never take part in the great collective tradition of pizza eating.

Mike:
It is an awesome tradition.

Peter:
But not everyone in the world has had pizza before.

Mike:
Exactly. They don't know what they're missing.

Alec:
And I feel sorry for those poor souls.