Ri¢hie Ri¢h1994

School Teacher:
[In the typical deep slow voice acting of Ben Stein] Let's move on to case study #12: Your company is in dire straits. Sales are down 50% due to stiff price competition. Dividends are falling. Stockholders are demanding that you step down as chariman of the board. Now, here's your problem: How do you rally the board of directors to your side AND stave off impending bankruptcy...? Reynolds?

Reynolds:
[who has been reading a newspaper] I'll have my secretary get back to you on that one.

School Teacher:
See me after class, Reynolds. Ellsworth, how would you get the board on your side?

Ellsworth:
[who has been playing miniature golf] Bribe someone.

School Teacher:
[sighs] Sit down, Ellsworth. Reginald, what would you do?

Reginald:
[who is being fitted by a tailor] What would I do? Simple. I'd float a rumor that we're the object of a takeover bid. And as soon as our stock went up, I'd sell.

School Teacher:
That's not only unethical, Reginald, it's illegal.

Reginald:
I'm only 12. I can't be held legally responsible.

School Teacher:
Hmm, good point.