Spook Busters1946

Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney:
[opening lines] It was springtime in New York, and one of the greatest events of my career was about to transpire. The crowd was multitudinous. Even my relatives was there. As I lamped all them smilin' kissers, I was pierced with the realization that this was probably the most monumental moment in the entire spam of my life. I was stirred up with commotion, and there was a big lunk in my throat as I turned and gandered at my fellow classmate, Bobby. He, too, was likewise granulatin'. As I looked further on my cup was runnin' over. There was Whitey the honor student, the three letter man: A, B, and C. And Chuck, who went through college by degrees: RFD, COD, SOS, and DDT. And I glimpsed to the right. Now there was a hunk of IQ. [Sach is shown wearing a dunce hat and sitting in the corner] The lunkhead that flunked. Dean Pettyboff, that old bachelor of arts, was deliverin' one of his pertinently incoherent speeches...