Team Fortress 22007

Blutarch Mann:
[RED team is in the lead] Drag your knuckles to that cart, you thick-browed member of the servant class! Do you have any idea what ungodly sum I'm paying you vagrants to push a corpse a hundred feet? All you have to do is push a haunted corpse on a railcart into a gaping hell-mouth! It's not gravel science.

Blutarch Mann:
All you have to do is send my brother's haunted corpse to hell, then run across a bridge to an enchanted island every time the clock strikes midnight every one and a half minutes to get powerful spells you can use to defeat your enemy, who will be doing the *exact* same thing, but with my haunted corpse! My only worry is this update makes too much sense.

Blutarch Mann:
I am speaking to you from the great beyond! But make no mistake, my lawyers are still on Earth, and they *will* prosecute if you do not fulfill your contract. In fact, they're right over there in that evil castle! That's right! They built a terrifying mansion from which to conduct their day business! [chuckle] I sense a disturbance in the force... Hold on. Okay, I'm back. My lawyers tell me I'm sensing nothing.