The Apartment1960

C.C. Baxter:
I know how you feel, Miss Kubelik. You think it's the end of the world - but it's not, really. I went through exactly the same thing myself.

Fran Kubelik:
You did?

C.C. Baxter:
Well, maybe not exactly - I tried to do it with a gun.

Fran Kubelik:
Over a girl?

C.C. Baxter:
Worse than that - She was the wife of my best friend. And I was mad for her, but I knew it was hopeless. So I decided to end it all. I went to a pawnshop and bought a forty-five automatic and drove up to Eden Park. Do you know Cincinnati?

Fran Kubelik:
No, I don't.

C.C. Baxter:
Anyway, I parked the car and loaded the gun... Well, you read in the papers all the time that people shoot themselves, but believe me, it's not that easy. I mean, how do you do it? [c*cks his finger, and points to his temple] Here? [points to his mouth] Or here? [points to his chest] Or here? You know where I finally shot myself?

Fran Kubelik:
Where?

C.C. Baxter:
[indicating kneecap] Here.

Fran Kubelik:
In the knee?

C.C. Baxter:
Uh-huh. While I was sitting there, trying to make my mind up, a cop stuck his head in the car, because I was illegally parked. So I started to hide the gun under the seat and it went off - pow!

Fran Kubelik:
[laughing] That's terrible.

C.C. Baxter:
Yeah. Took me a year before I could bend my knee - but I got over the girl in three weeks. She still lives in Cincinnati, has four kids, gained twenty pounds. She sends me a fruit cake every Christmas.