The Aristocrats2005

Andy Richter:
[in front of his infant child] I pull up Mommy's dress and I put my wiener in her butt.

Doug Stanhope:
[in front of his infant child]... and I push it into her unwilling anus.

Andy Richter:
Then I move my wiener back and forth, until stuff shoots out.

Doug Stanhope:
So it's finally just a whole prolapsed rectum. It looks like a serated sea snake. Remember when I took you to Sea World? Yeah.

Andy Richter:
And all the stuff shoots on her face.

Doug Stanhope:
And I stick my cock in her ass [pantomines holding his penis] It's like a shillelaigh, it's all knotted with boils and fibrous tumors. I'll show you a little bit later.

Andy Richter:
The brother comes out. He eats stuff off her face.

Doug Stanhope:
With this bleeding anus splattering on the crowd. We give the first few rows garbage bags. Have you seen Gallagher? [baby begins to cry] Yeah I didn't like it that much myself.

Andy Richter:
And they eat the poop off the floor.

Doug Stanhope:
and he says taa-daa!

Andy Richter:
And the man says "The Aristocrats" [long pause] and did I mention that two of the men are probably Jews?