The Cheap Detective1978

Bess:
Hold onto your hat. Vladimir Tserijemiwtz is Ezra C.V. Mildew Dezire Jr.!

Lou Peckinpaugh:
Wait a minute. Tserijemiwtz has two T's. The name you come up with don't have none.

Bess:
That was the whole key. Some people spell the Czar of Russia T-S-A-R. But in America we spell it C-Z-A-R.

Lou Peckinpaugh:
Any fool knows that.

Bess:
So when I tried the American spelling, I came up with Ezra...

Bess, Lou Peckinpaugh:
...C.V. Mildew Dezire Jr.!

Lou Peckinpaugh:
Of course! - Who the hell is he?

Bess:
The owner of the Golden Gate Bridge.

Lou Peckinpaugh:
Right. You did fine, angel. Now forget you ever heard that name. Don't ever repeat it to anyone.

[the phone rings]

Bess:
[into phone] Hello? - Yes, he is. Who's calling, please? [to Lou] It's him! Ezra C.V. Mildew Dezire Jr.!

Lou Peckinpaugh:
I told you not to repeat it!