The Five-Year Engagement2012

Suzie Barnes-Eilhauer:
[Impression of Elmo] Elmo thinks you should do what you feel is right.

Violet Barnes:
Well, I don't really know what I think is right. I think just, time will tell.

Suzie Barnes-Eilhauer:
[Impression of Elmo] Elmo thinks time will tell.

Violet Barnes:
Could you mind not doing that because you're repeating what I'm saying.

Suzie Barnes-Eilhauer:
[Impression of Elmo] Elmo thinks you should sh*t or get off the pot.

Violet Barnes:
[Impression of Cookie Monster] But me think that's a really rude thing to say, Elmo.

Suzie Barnes-Eilhauer:
[Impression of Elmo] But Elmo says it's been almost five years! Almost five years! You either love him or you don't!

Violet Barnes:
[Impression of Cookie Monster] Me love him but it's very complicated. Cookie doesn't get everything handed to him on a silver platter like Elmo.

Suzie Barnes-Eilhauer:
[Impression of Elmo] Cookie does a career he wanted. Tom moved to Michigan so Cookie could work okay? Elmo wanted to be a kinesiologist but instead, Elmo is cleaning puke off her shirt every day!

Violet Barnes:
[Impression of Cookie Monster] Well maybe as nice as little elmos are, Elmo should have considered using protection! C is for condom! That's good enough for me!

Suzie Barnes-Eilhauer:
[Impression of Elmo] Elmo is very happy with Elmo's little elmos okay? Elmo would just like a break! Once in a while! Elmo never gets a break!

Violet Barnes:
[Impression of Cookie Monster] Fine! This is fine! But this is precisely why Cookie wants to take the time to consider if he's picked the right cookie for his life!

Suzie Barnes-Eilhauer:
[Impression of Elmo] Well maybe Elmo thinks there is no right cookie, you just pick one and take a bite!

Violet Barnes:
[softly] Alright.