The Magical Legend of the Leprechauns1999

Jack Woods:
You're - you're...

Seamus Muldoon:
A Leprechaun. Wet Leprechaun. Leader of the Kerry Leprechauns. Seamus Maldoon, at your wet service.

Mary Muldoon:
[invisible] What in the Grand Banshee's name do you think you're doing?

Seamus Muldoon:
What's it look like; I'm talking to the man.

Mary Muldoon:
Are you mad, as well as stupid?

Seamus Muldoon:
I have to! He saved me!

Mary Muldoon:
He *saved* you?

Seamus Muldoon:
Gallantly, I have to say. And not at all for himself.

[Jack stumbles outside]

Mary Muldoon:
[appears inside] You were drunk!

Seamus Muldoon:
Of *course* I was drunk... I hate water!

Jack Woods:
[cut to outside] Just calm down, Jack. Get - a grip. It's just jetlag.

Mary Muldoon:
[cut to inside] And you *let* him save you?

Seamus Muldoon:
I didn't ask him, Mary, he just did it!

Mary Muldoon:
That's no excuse! You could have had the decency to drown!

Jack Woods:
[outside]... hangover... bump on the head... You're fine.

Mary Muldoon:
I'm Mary Maldoon...

Jack Woods:
Oh, give me a break!

[turns, sees Leprechauns]

Mary Muldoon:
...Seamus' wife for my sins. Of which there must have been hundreds to have such a terrible fate!

Seamus Muldoon:
They say that married men live longer than single ones. It only *seems* like that.