The Mating Habits of the Earthbound Human1999

Narrator:
[the male searches the pockets of his dry-cleaned blazer hoping to find the female's phone number] The male searches through his animal skins. Perhaps the female is inside. [the male pulls out the destroyed remains of the napkin with the female's number] Blinded by his need to procreate, the male shows some lint to the other member of the pack. "Is this the female I seek?" he asks.

The Male's Friend:
Yep, you're an a**hole.

Narrator:
"No, it is not," responds the other.