The Mating Habits of the Earthbound Human1999

Narrator:
Of all the creatures in the universe, none possess the mating ritual as complex, as perverse, as tragically beautiful as the earthbound human. More passionate than the Orktamus of Centali Five, more neurotic than the Sleekanda of Sleewa, it is a wonder that these furry creatures have not gone extinct millenia ago. But in spite of their self-inflicted paradox, their numbers grow at a rapid pace, over-consuming their tiny planet. For it is from these creatures that we have acquired the universal expression "f*** like people."