Clerks II2006

Randal:
Dude, The Transformers sucked.

Elias:
Oh, no they didn't. They were more than meets the eye. They could beat the pants off Ranger Danger any day.

Randal:
Yeah, I'll lose sleep wondering whether you're right about that or not. Thought you weren't allowed to watch a lot of TV in your house 'cause you're all Christian and sh*t.

Elias:
Well, as it turns out, cars and trucks that turn into robots aren't really that blasphemous because my pastor says that machines can turn into other machines and it's not a slight against God.

Randal:
Dude, the Transformers were a total slight against God, in as much as God sent His only begotten Son to die on the cross to redeem mankind and all we did to pay Him back was make terrible f***ing cartoons like the Transformers.

Elias:
(pause) Nice shot. Well, see... At Bible Camp, we made a flow chart. Since God created man, and man created the Transformers, the Transformers are like a gift from God, Randal!

Randal:
No sir. They are not a gift from God. They are an unholy curse from the beast we call the Desolate One. (voice deepens, walks slowly towards Elias)

Elias:
I really don't wanna hear this, Randal. (reaches for head phones trying to ignore Randal)

Randal:
The first of the fallen. The spoiler of virgins. The MASTER of abortions!.

Elias:
You know I don't like to talk about dark forces, Randal! (puts on the head phones)

Randal:
(grabbing drive-thru microphone and singing) Let me help you out of your chair Grandma! Grandma!

Jay:
(shows up in window) Grandma what was it like?! To be on that holiday site!

Randal:
Late that night-

Jay:
I awoke from my sleep! Hearing!

Jay & Randal:
Unknown! Voices! Laughing insane! (Pushing Elias back and forth between Randal and Jay)