The Prince & Me2004

Soren:
Good heavens! [as he enters the dorm room] I thought you had to be convicted of a crime before you lived somewhere like this.

Eddie:
Well it's not that bad. Plus, we haven't seen the rest of it yet. [opens closet door]

Soren:
Apparently, this is the rest of it.

Eddie:
Well I like it. And I'll even let you have first choice of the beds.

Soren:
Ooo, heavens, which stained mattress shall I choose?

Scotty:
[enters, coughing, sniffling, and clearing throat] You the new guys? I'm Scotty. All right, all my food's labeled, so I'll know if you ate anything. I'm allergic to dairy, shellfish, red meat, melon, nuts, and kiwi, so don't bring any of that stuff around here. [sits down at computer] The X-box is off limits. If you screw up any of my high scores, I'll blind you with my laser pointer.