Despicable Me 2

[in El Macho's lair]

Eduardo/El Macho:
[appears behind Gru] You have not lost your touch, my friend.

Gru:
Aha! I knew it! You are El Macho!

Eduardo/El Macho:
That's right!

Gru:
[eager] Nobody believed me! Ho ho! But I knew you weren't dead!

Eduardo/El Macho:
[laughing] Of course not. I merely faked my death! [chuckles] But now, it's time for me to make a spectacular return to evil! Doctor, I think it's time we showed Gru what we're up to here.

Gru:
Doctor Nefario?

Dr. Nefario:
Nice to see you, Gru.

Gru:
Whaaa? This- so this is your new job opportunity?

Dr. Nefario:
Absolutely. You're gonna like this. [presses a button, revealing a purple Kevin strapped to a chair]

Eduardo/El Macho:
Sorry. I had to borrow some of your Minions, but it was for a worthy cause.

Gru:
Oh! Kevin? [tries to approach Kevin, but repels with disgust] Ugh!

Eduardo/El Macho:
No! He's not Kevin anymore! Now he's an indestructible, mindless, killing machine!

Evil Kevin:
BLAUGH!

Eduardo/El Macho:
[jumps in fear, but quickly recovers] Just watch this. [presses a button]

Evil Kevin:
[a machine gun descends and sprays him with bullets] BLAUGH! [ a flamethrower descends] BLAUGH! [it sprays him with flame. An axe descends and hits him over the head, he jumps up and eats it. A bomb falls and he swallows it, exploding harmlessly inside him. A police car, siren running, falls on him. He eats it in six bites] BLAUGH!

Eduardo/El Macho:
And here's the best part, I got an army of them! [some lights turn on, revealing hundreds of cages full of evil minions; Gru receives a horrified look on his face once seeing them] Soon I will unleash them on the world! And if anyone, anyone tries to stop them, YEOW! Their city gets eaten. [pause] We can do it together!

Gru:
Together?

Eduardo/El Macho:
Together! I have admired your work for years, amigo! Stealing the moon?! [yanking on Gru's scarf] Are you kidding?! We would be unstoppable! Men like you, men like me, we should be ruling the world! [excitedly] So, are you in?

Dr. Nefario:
[holding a noisemaker] Woo-hoo!

Gru:
Uh...yeah...probably...

Eduardo/El Macho:
[confused] Probably?

Gru:
[stepping backwards] I mean, yes! Yes. Of course, yes, I just have a lot going on right now...I just need to get some things off my plate before we start taking over the world, that's all.

Eduardo/El Macho:
'Scuse me?

Gru:
No-forget it! One hundred percent! I am in! [pretending] I think-what is-do you hear that- I do. That's Agnes calling me from on the surf- [steps into the elevator which closes, but immediately opens again; hastily pressing a button] Totally in! [the elevator closes]

Eduardo/El Macho:
[suspicious] You know what? I am not so convinced that he is in. [presses a button, releasing Kevin]

Evil Kevin:
BLAUGH!

[Back upstairs, Edith, who's blindfolded, lightly touches the piñata with a baseball bat, finally smacking it into pieces, revealing candy on the ground]

Gru:
Edith! Agnes! Come on! [Edith accidentally hits him in the head with a baseball bat] Ooof!

Edith:
[takes off her blindfold] Sorry.

Gru:
We need to go home now! Where's Margo?

Agnes:
But I didn't get a turn!

[Meanwhile, a depressed Margo is sitting alone, eating a guacamole sombero]

Gru:
Margo! [approaches her with Edith and Agnes] Come on, we're leav... Hey, what's wrong?

Margo:
[disappointed] I hate boys.

[It is revealed that Antonio is dancing with another girl]

Gru:
[referring to boys] Yes, they stink. Look sorry, honey, we have to leave. [sends Margo away and comes back to screen, then angrily shoots his freeze ray at Antonio for leaving Margo heartbroken without saying anything]