The Stupids1996

Policeman:
This postal ploy of yours is the most evil caper of our age, Mr. Sender. How will you ever top yourself?

Evil Sender:
With a crime so unthinkable that no-one has ever dared to attempt to attempt it: to rob an entire nation of its garbage.

Policeman:
The one resource no-one ever thinks to protect!

Evil Sender:
Yet without it, every Hefty bag, every trash compactor, every rubbish bin in America will be useless. Desperate men will roam the streets with empty wastebaskets, panic and chaos will rule the land. The precious balance of civilization will be destroyed, and then the world will come begging for mercy... to me. [to security guard] Your job is to kidnap anyone who discovers my diabolical plan, including children.