Dr. Strangelove1964

Turgidson:
General Ripper called Strategic Air Command Headquarters shortly after he issued the go code. I have a phone transcript of that conversation if you'd like me to read it.

Muffley:
Read it!

Turgidson:
Ahem... The Duty Officer asked General Ripper to confirm the fact that he had issued the go code, and he said, uh, "Yes gentlemen, they are on their way in, and nobody can bring them back. For the sake of our country, and our way of life, I suggest you get the rest of SAC in after them. Otherwise, we will be totally destroyed by Red retaliation." Uh... "My boys will give you the best kind of start, 1400 megatons worth, and you sure as hell won't stop them now." Uhuh. Uh... "So let's get going, there's no other choice. God willing, we will prevail, in peace and freedom from fear, and in true health, through the purity and essence of our natural... fluids. God bless you all." And he hung up.

[Pause as he realizes the implications of General Ripper's words]

Turgidson:
Uh, we're... still trying to figure out the meaning of that last phrase, sir.

Muffley:
There's nothing to figure out, General Turgidson. This man is obviously a psychotic.

Turgidson:
We-he-ell, uh, I'd like to hold off judgment on a thing like that, sir, until all the facts are in.

Muffley:
General Turgidson! When you instituted the human reliability tests, you assured me there was no possibility of such a thing ever occurring!

Turgidson:
Well, I, uh, don't think it's quite fair to condemn a whole program because of a single slip-up, sir.

Muffley:
General Turgidson, I find this very difficult to understand. I was under the impression that I was the only one in authority to order the use of nuclear weapons.

Turgidson:
That's right sir. You are the only person authorized to do so. And although I hate to judge before all the facts are in, it's beginning to look like General Ripper exceeded his authority.