They Want Dick Dickster2015

Dick Dickster:
Hardy?

Tim Meeks:
Hello, Dick? Dick? I think I hear him. Let's just go in.

Dick Dickster:
Hardy. I love you...

Tim Meeks:
He's here. That's actually Dick Dickster. I'm gonna try, I'm going to wake him. Dick? Hello? Dick? Dick?

Dick Dickster:
Who are you?

Tim Meeks:
Sorry, didn't mean to wake you.

Dick Dickster:
Who said you could come in here? Are you crazy? I'll f***ing kill you.

Tim Meeks:
No. It's me, Tim Meeks, USC Film Student. We spoke last week about the documentary, about you?

Dick Dickster:
Film school? Ha! You could've saved big bucks if you'd gone to the Dick Dickster school of film making.

Tim Meeks:
What is that?

Dick Dickster:
Get a camera, make a movie. Get out of here! Get out! I don't remember talking to you last week. You punks don't want to learn how a real shooter survives in the naked city. You want to theorize in your little circle jerks that you're the next Steverino Spielberg. But you're not. You couldn't direct your way out of a wet paper bag!

Tim Meeks:
I want to be the next Dick Dickster, sir.

Dick Dickster:
No, you don't. Unhappy ending. Now get the f*** out of here before I carve you up, Tommy Trojan.

Tim Meeks:
Is that the knife from Cult?

Dick Dickster:
It is. You know Cult of Doom?

Tim Meeks:
Do I know it? I freaking love that movie. I worship that movie. It's the reason I got into film in the first place. I've seen it over a thousand times.

Dick Dickster:
Really? A thousand times?

Tim Meeks:
It's pure genius. And, it gets better every time.

Dick Dickster:
True. It is. It holds up to multiple viewings. Come right in. It's pure genius, isn't it? But why doesn't Hollywood know it?

Tim Meeks:
Maybe after my documentary comes out about you, the world will finally recognize your great talents and put you in the pantheon amongst all the greats, along with DeMille, Ford, Kubrick, Scorsese, Fellini, and of course, you, Dick Dickster.

Dick Dickster:
Dick Dickster... at your service. Ha! I'd like to thank the members of the academy...