TiMER2009

Local News Anchor:
[overlapping narrations] If a clock could count down to the exact moment you meet your soul mate, would you want to know? That's the claim of manufacture's of a new devices called, the TiMER. The next evolutionary step in computer match making, the TiMER lets you know when your perfect match has entered you life...

Scientist:
...discovered that all humans are on a path to true love, implanted just after the onset of puberty, and powered by body heat, the TiMER monitors level of oxytocin, the hormone of love...

man:
...it zeros-out at midnight the night before, and then the next day it could go off at any second, and you get your soul mate...

CEO:
Are you tired of sitting around waiting for love? Your days of watching and wondering are over. Say goodbye to heartache and disappointment. Now you can be on the clock - true love on a schedule. Introducing TiMER, and revolutionary device that tells you not only *who* your soul mate is, but *when* you'll meet them. TiMER, take the guess work out of love.